Nameplate on the door: "Principal"
Man: I've looked through your tests. You pass.
Woman: Oh, good!
Man(continues): In this workshop we feed our cattle ("meat" in original, not sure if that is acceptable in English), so it could obtain class no less than F-grade.
Man: You will be fully conscious and feel everything while being butchered. You haven't changed your mind, have you? If not, worker #3103 will tell you everything! There is no escape, so you will become A-grade meat.
Woman: No, I haven't changed my mind! And I won't beg you to stop either! Btw, do you butcher your employees as well?
Man: Yes, of course! New employee must butcher the previous one upon the expiry of contract!
Worker (badge on the folder: "Case #3217 S-A"): We can begin once you are ready. Now you are my piggy! I'll try to be gentle. Letter 'S' means grade ("сорт" in russian). You have S-A - this is highest grade! You are my last little piggy. I will go under the knife right after you.
Woman: Okayy~ It seems, I am ready. I can't wait to begin.
Woman: Alrighty, let me braid my hair in the end!
Worker(probably): I will cut you along this line =) I will handle the saw gently! Honestly!
Worker(probably): Why are you worried so much? Don't worry! You will hardly feel anything. Just a little bzzzt... and it will be over.
Worker(probably): So, let's begin? By the way, you are the most calm piggy I ever had!
Worker(probably): Phew... So... that's all! And you worried so much. Though you didn't even scream! That's my girl!! And your meat is really good! Oh, you got dirty ... all covered in blood.
Worker(probably): Well! That's what I'm talking about! Now got to the others. Your head will be cut off, and you'll wait until you'll be eaten.
Worker(probably): So, my little piggies, now it's time for you to rest awaiting to be served as dish! And I'm off to prepare myself! Today I will fill up your piggie-ranks! And I will hang upside down beheaded in the fridge! OH, I'M TOTALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO IT!!
Something like that. My English is not *that* good, however, so it would be great if someone could review this.