/lit/ - Literature

Password (For file deletion.)


The Vacuum Incident

A cautionary tale

Jill walked along the hallway, vacuuming the floor.

She moved slowly, making sure to push the head of the vacuum into every corner and over every crevice, being fastidious in her efforts to ensure the cleanliness of the carpet. The vacuum was a suck type device, with a long metal tube, that served as both handle and head, attached to the main unit, which was worn like a back-pack, by a sturdy and flexible rubber hose.

Jill was quite in love with her vacuum, which she had received as a birthday present from her mother earlier that year. The young girl couldn't abide dirtiness of any sort, so the present, which most girls would have been less than thrilled with, had been absolutely perfect.

Jill hummed happily as she finished with the floor of the hallway, gratified that not a speck of dirt remained behind where she and her vacuum had passed. She opened the door to the living room, eager to render it dirt free as well, and stopped in her tracks, frowning in consternation, at the sight that greeted her within.

Jill's brother, quite nude, sat with his naked butt on the carpet before the couch. He leaned back against it, with his legs spread wide and his hips thrust out, masturbating furiously.

Jill's eyes narrowed as she stared down at her brother. The boy had recently discovered what penises were for, and had apparently decided to see if it was possible to wear his out. He had absolutely no shame about it either, much to his sister's disgust, and would strip off and have a go at himself whenever the mood struck him, regardless of where he happened to be at the time.

When Jill had complained of this behavior to their mother, the older woman had explained to her daughter that Jack was simply At That Age, and that the only thing for it was to wait until he grew out of it. When Jill had asked her mother just how long that might take, the woman had sighed and responded "If we're lucky, only thirty or forty years." Jill was, understandably, less than thrilled at this news.

Jill's mother had consoled her daughter by telling her that at least her brother cleaned up after himself after each self-stimulatory occasion.

"Well, usually, anyway." she had amended, sighing again and clearly less than happy with the situation herself.

Where Jack happened to be now was the living room, which was where Jill next wanted to vacuum.

"Jack, I need to vacuum in here. Please cease abusing yourself so, or at least do it in another room." Jill said to her brother, after turning off her vacuum so he would be able to hear her.

"Preferably another room, in another house." she added, after a moment. "A house far, far from here. One in another country, perhaps."

Jack, whose head was thrown back in pre-orgasmic ecstasy, a small runnel of drool seeping from one corner of his open, slack mouth, groaned in dismay at the sound of his sister's voice.

"Jill." he said, without opening his eyes, his voice flat. "I can't stand the sight of you right now. Go away."

"Go away, and take that infernal, noisy contraption of yours with you when you do."

"Impossible. This room needs to be vacuumed. I haven't had a chance to clean it since this morning." Jill replied.

"It's only noon. How dirty can this room have got in the five minutes since you last cleaned it?" Jack responded, scorn in his voice.

"Well, you're here." Jill answered, waspishly.

"Leave me in peace. I've just gotten to the good bit." Jack said, with a resigned sigh.

"I don't see any good bits in here, so that seems unlikely." was Jill's tart reply.

Jack, whose rhythmic pumping of his member had slowed, but not wholly stopped, finally opened his eyes and deigned to look at his sister.

"Jill, if you don't go away, I shall aim at you when I finish."

Jill twisted her face up in disgust.

"You WOULD do such a thing to your own sister, wouldn't you?" she asked, rhetorically. "You are absolutely the most dirty, repulsive, base, vile, and gross thing there is in the entire world."

"Actually, on second thought, you're only the second most vile thing in the world." Jill amended, a moment later. "The most gross thing in the world is that dinky little piece of flesh you're holding."

Jack rolled his eyes, then stopped stroking himself all together. He placed his hands on his spread knees and leaned forward towards his sister. His erect penis tilted forward as he did, the sticky head bobbing down and rubbing against the carpet.

"Jill, you are a shrill, flat-chested, obsessive-compulsive clean-freak." Jack stated, looking his sister straight in the eye.

Jill flushed scarlet in anger at the insults.

Her mother had taught her that one shouldn't take umbrage at facts, no matter how venomously delivered, so she ignored, as best she could, the first two insults. Her voice actually was rather high pitched, after all, and her chest was, much to her continuing chagrin, also rather underdeveloped.

It was the third insult that really set her kettle to boil. The idea that one might be considered obsessive simply because one liked to give the house a thorough cleaning three or four times a day was utterly ridiculous. The final straw, though, was the implication that a preference for cleanliness was in anyway freakish. It was absolutely the most boorish and rude thing anyone had ever said to her.

Jill found herself mad enough to strike her brother in his stupid, smug, smiling face. She only managed to restrain herself by recalling the lessons of her mother, who had taught her that violence was the first resort only of the foolish. Still, she longed to respond to her brother's slights in a manner which would demonstrate, irrefutably, just how much of a wrong headed prat he was.

The fact that her brother's penis, the avatar of his dirty, degenerate filthiness, was bared directly before her, impudently erect while rubbing against and soiling her precious carpet, was simply salt in her wounds.

Then she remembered her vacuum. It was, after all, a device made, specifically, for permanently removing dirt, filth, and grossness of all sorts from carpets. She realized that she had the perfect method for dealing with her brother already in her hands.

She smiled.

It wasn't a kind smile, but a cold one.

Jack saw the expression on his sibling's face, and his own flashed with sudden fear. Instinctively, he began to close his legs to shield himself from attack, but his sister's strike was fast and merciless. Quick as a snake, Jill flicked her vacuum to life and jabbed its head towards her brother's groin.

The machine, a well made, expensive model from a solid, national brand, roared to life in less than a heartbeat. Its suction was already at full power when its head neared the tip of Jack's erection. Faster than the eye could track, the jutting pole of turgid flesh was sucked hilt deep into the vacuum's intake. The motion was powerful and violent enough to nearly jerk the handle from out of Jill's hand. The sound of the impact between the tubes of metal and flesh was a hollow, resonant "FTHUNK".

Jack tried to jerk back, away from the cleaning device, but discovered, with a pained yelp, that he was stuck fast. Trapped by both his cock and his cockiness.

"Ouch! Oh, what are you doing?" he asked, with a pained wince.

"Ha! Merely giving you a little of what you've earned." Jill replied, with a laugh.

To emphasize her point, she tugged vigorously on the handle of the vacuum, which, through the device's suction, tugged in turn upon her brother's trapped flesh.

"Ow! You're terrible, stop this at once!" Jack ordered, wincing again.

In response, Jill tugged again.

"Ow, ow, oh!"

Laughing in delight, Jill began tugging merrily on her vacuum, watching her brother's frantic, fumbling, and futile attempts to free himself.

"Ow, oh, oh." Jack moaned.

More tugging.

"Ohh. Oh, oh. Ohhh." he continued, biting his lip and closing his eyes.

Jill, sensing that her efforts were no longer having quite the effect she was aiming for, paused.

"You're.. You're enjoying this, aren't you." she accused her brother, disgust replacing her earlier delight.

"Oh, don't stop. I was nearly there." Jack pleaded, panting heavily.

"You. You are simply the worst." Jill replied, shaking her head in disbelief and renewed fury. "I know how to deal with your type, though."

"Oh, and what type am I, then?" Jack asked, grinning up at his sister, his amusement glinting in his eyes.

"The type of stubborn filth that simply refuses to go away." Jill replied, narrowing her eyes again. "And I've got just the thing for you."

Jill set her feet, braced herself, then played her trump card.

Her vacuum was not some cheap plastic import that would last six months before falling to pieces. It was all shining steel and rubber, a masterwork of craftsmanship, one guaranteed to last a lifetime. It was also guaranteed to clear any mess, remove any stain, and clean up any filth. It could do this by not having a switch that simply toggled between mere Off and On. No, indeed, for its switch had three settings: Off, Suck, and, for particularly nasty problems, Super Suck.

Jill flipped the switch to Super Suck.

She wasn't sure exactly what would happen. She had never needed to use her vacuum's final mode before now. She was confident, however, that it would be enough to take care of her brother.

The vacuum's motor, already racing, climbed rapidly in pitch as it speed up ferociously. The noise of the vacuum's suction deepened, beginning to sound, somewhat alarmingly, like a small jet plane about to take off.

The handle in Jill's hands jerked again, once and sharply, and Jack let out a yell of surprise and pain, as a loud sound issued from his crotch, audible even over the roar of the vacuum.


Jill felt something get pulled, quite rapidly, up the tube in her hands, felt it bump and tumble as it passed through the flexible hose joining the tube to the vacuum, then finally land, with a forceful thump, inside the canister strapped to her back. At the same time, the head of the vacuum, which she had been exerting a steady pull on, came away from her brother's groin.

The banshee howl filling the room diminished, slowly, after Jill flicked the machine's switch back to the off position. She looked down at her brother, to see what her vacuum had accomplished.

Where there had once been a proud prick, standing up straight like a little flag pole, was nothing. Where it had been was now simply empty, smooth skin. The only thing left was the floppy, now seemingly sad, naked, and exposed, sack of her brother's testicles.

"Wha.. What have you done?" Jack asked, anguish and panic coloring his voice.

"Hah! Only what needed to be." Jill said, triumphantly. "Cleanliness is victorious again!"

"This isn't funny!" Jack said, somewhat frantically, feeling his cock-free crotch with his hands. "This is a disaster. A catastrophe! Give me back my penis!"

"Not a chance, brother dearest." Jill crowed. "The only place that the dirt and filth which my vacuum sucks up goes is into the trash."

"You wouldn't!" Jack gasped, horrified.

"Feel free to watch me do it, as soon as I finish vacuuming." Jill said. "Although, I'm not sure why you're making such a fuss about this. From what I can see, sucking that little bit of filthiness off your crotch has hardly changed it at all. I'm surprised you're even able to tell the difference."

Jack simply stared up at her, his hands covering the remains of his manhood, as she gloated.

"It certainly didn't feel like much of anything to me." Jill said. "Are you sure was even my vacuum that did it? Maybe you finally just wore the wee thing off."

"Perhaps it's on the floor here somewhere. I'll help you look, if you ask nicely." Jill finished, peering around with mock interested, her voice sickly-sweet with false sympathy.

Jack's face turned red, and his hands clenched into fists. He stood up, no longer trying to shield or hide his groin, shaking in anger and glaring at his sister.

"That is it." He said, finality in his voice. "I am TELLING."

Jack ran from the room, still naked, a loud cry accompanying him.


Jill smirked, then followed him, her own pace sedate, her steps confident and unworried.

She found her brother with her mother a few moments later, in the kitchen. Her mother, lunchtime sandwich abandoned for the moment, listening patiently to the breathless jumble of aggrieved complaints, whining, and pleading that tumbled out of her brother in a steady stream.

"..and then she used her stupid vacuum and sucked my penis right off! She won't give it back and is just standing there making fun of me!" he finally finished, before sucking in a gulping breath.

As he caught sight of Jill entering the kitchen, he glared furiously at her, then turned back to their mother.

"There she is. Make her give it back!"

Jill's mother sighed, then looked over at her daughter levelly.

"Did you suck your brother's penis off with your vacuum?" she asked bluntly, her tone even.

Jill shrugged, affecting nonchalance, then replied in kind, her tone even and calm.

"I wanted to vacuum the living room. Jack was sitting on the floor, playing with himself, and wouldn't move when I asked him too." she said. "If something he wanted to keep ended up inside my vacuum, then I guess he shouldn't have left it lying around on the floor."

Jill's mother frowned at this, pensively, for a moment. She then turned back to her son.

"Were you on the floor?" she asked.

"Yes.." Jack admitted.

"Did your sister ask you to move?"

"Well, yes.." he replied, looking a little guilty.

"Were you playing with yourself?"

"Um.. Y-yes.. But so what? That's none of her business!" Jack said, looking uncomfortable for a moment, then glaring at his sister. "Besides, she vacuums all the time. Literally. She is always vacuuming, every moment she is awake! Why should I have to move so she can clean the same spot on the floor a hundred times every day?"

"Don't exaggerate." Jill's mother replied, reprovingly. "You know how much cleanliness means to your sister. Moving a little so she can vacuum a bit of the carpet is hardly too much to ask, is it?"

"I.. I.." Jack started, his face twisting up in indignation.

"F-fine, whatever. I'll move next time, then. That doesn't matter anyway." he said, dismissively. "The important thing is that she has my penis! In her dumb vacuum!"

"I want it back!" Jack demanded. "Now."

"Wait a moment. Let's just make sure everything is clear, first." Jill's mother said.

Jill smiled, and tried her best to hide the expression, at which she was only partially successful. Although her brother hadn't yet realized it, he had already lost. Jill had won the moment her vacuum had touched his penis, and she knew it.

"You were on the floor, where Jill wanted to vacuum, playing with your penis. When Jill asked you to move, you ignored her and stayed on the floor, right?" Jill's mother asked.

"Er.. Yes.. I suppose so." Jack replied, unsure what his mother was getting at. "I, uh, wasn't playing with it when she sucked it up, though."

Jill's mother raised her eyebrows at this.

"When Jill sucked your penis up, was it touching the floor?"

"Uh, maybe a little. Why, what difference does that make?" Jack answered. "It was mine. She had no right to suck it up."

"You left your penis, with which you had been playing, on the floor, when you knew someone was vacuuming." Jill's mother stated.

"Uh, yeah.." Jack agreed, still not getting the point at which his mother was driving towards.

"Your penis, with which you had been PLAYING." Jill's mother repeated, emphasizing the word "playing" heavily.

"I.. Oh, umm.." Jack trailed off, before he blinked in sudden realization.

Jill's brother gulped, then started to look really worried for the first time. Seeing his expression produced a little flutter of joy that winged its way through Jill's chest, and she stopped trying to hide her smile.

Years before, when both Jill and her brother had been quite a bit younger, both siblings had made a habit of leaving bits and pieces of their toys, many of which could be quite small, laying around in various and sundry places on the floor of the house. Despite her best efforts, Jill's mother could not break her children of this bad habit.

At first, she simply accepted the endless clutter as part and parcel of having young children, and likewise accepted the thankless chore of constantly picking up after them. As her children aged, though, and the bad habit continued, she began to grow less tolerant of their foibles.

Finally, one day, tired and frustrated, she had simply vacuumed up everything on the floor. Every toy, every coin, and every cherished and temporarily abandoned bauble. If it had fit into the vacuum's intake, she had sucked it up. Her children had realized what she was doing about halfway through her chore, and, after wasting several minutes fruitlessly begging for her to stop, began to rush about in front of her, desperate to pick up their little treasures before she got to them.

She had finished her task, then stood silent in the face of her children's tears and pleading for ten minutes. After they had cried themselves out, and sat silently at her feet, each one a little portrait of the misery of loss, she had knelt down and explained the new, ironclad rule of the house: Any toy left by her children on the floor was now fair game, and there would be no mercy.

Then she let her children dig through the filthy garbage bag to retrieve their belongings from inside of it. This one time, and this one time only, she explained, would she grant them a reprieve from the new rule. After that day, anything that got left on the floor and sucked up into a vacuum was garbage, and garbage permanently. No warnings. No take backs. No second chances.



Jill's mother's tactic had made an impression, to say the least, and the incidents since then had been few and far between. Jill herself couldn't even recall the last time something of hers, or her brother's, had been doomed to be consigned to the trash bins for the rest of eternity.

Until today, that is.

"But.. But, my penis isn't a toy!" Jack said, a little desperately. "That rule only counts for toys!"

"Were you playing with it?" Jill's mother asked calmly, her voice still even.

"I.. I.. I guess so? Sort of?" Jack hedged.

"And what is it that one does with toys?"

"Play with them.." Jack answered, weakly.

"And what happens to toys that are left on the floor and vacuumed up?"

"They get.. They g-get.." Jack trailed off, then gulped again, before continuing. "..thrown away.."

"And they get thrown away because..?" Jill's mother prompted, quirking one eyebrow up at her son.

"Because they're garbage." Jack finished quietly, a forlorn look on his face.

Jill's mother made a little motion with her hand, flipping it up and over, presenting the upraised palm to her two children. The message was a clear "So there you have it."

"You left your penis, your toy, on the floor, when you knew someone was about to vacuum." Jill's mother stated simply, as if handing down a judgement from on high. Which she was.

"It got sucked up, and now it's going to be thrown away, and you've no one to blame but yourself."

Jack looked pale, and he began to tremble slightly.

"But, I need it!" He said, desperation entering his voice.

"You should have thought of that before you left it on the floor, I suppose." Jill's mother said, with very little in the way of sympathy in her voice. "Perhaps it will serve as a lesson for next time, hmm?"

"But.. but what am I going to do without it?" Jack asked, his trembling turning to shaking.

"Probably get a lot more of your homework done, for one thing." Jill's mother said, offhandedly, as she turned back to her sandwich.

"But my poor balls! They're just gonna fill up, and I won't be able to empty them." Jack moaned, cradling the organs in question as he slowly slumped to the floor in shock, still quite naked.

"I won't even be able to think like that, with my balls completely full!" he whined.

Jack raised both his hands to the top of his head, grasping at his hair in worry and despair, letting his lonely, sad scrotum flop loosely on the floor between his splayed legs as he did so.

Jill blinked, then her mouth fell open in delighted surprise, as she looked down at her brother.

Her brother, who's balls were vulnerable and unprotected, and with which he had played very nearly as often as he had his penis.

And which were laying on the floor.

"Oh, brother, dear, I think I can help you with that problem." Jill said, her tone sweet.

Jack looked up at his sister, desperate hope etched on his face for just a moment, before he saw the very same cold smile he had seen on her features right before she had sucked up his penis. His hope instantly turned to fear, and he again moved to protect himself.

Again, he was too slow.

Jill's vacuum roared to life.



"Super Suck, go!"



"Oh, dear." Jill's mother said, around a mouthful of her sandwich, rolling her eyes to the heavens and sighing as she spoke.


Later in the day, around mid afternoon, just after finishing with her usual noon cleaning, Jill took her vacuum out to the bins behind the house, to empty it.

She never used the trash bins inside the house for this task, as full vacuum bags have an unpleasant tendency to puff dust and leak dirt everywhere. After all, what would be the point in vacuuming all of that unpleasantness up if one was simply going to let it dribble right back onto the floor that one had just painstakingly cleaned?

Of course, on this particular occasion, there was an additional reason to use the outside bins: they were in plain sight of her brother's bedroom, who's windows overlooked the back yard. Her brother just happened to be in his bedroom, sulking furiously, after their mother had again come down on Jill's side in the argument that had taken place after Jill sucked her brother's testicles up off the kitchen floor.

Jill's mother had accepted her daughter's reasoned argument that her brother's balls were also his toys, with which he regularly played, exactly as he had his penis, and that they had indeed been on the floor, even if only briefly, and were thus fair game for the girl's vacuum cleaner. Jack had been quite peeved at this, becoming very short with both of the women he shared the house with.

Jill's mother had not helped matters, it seemed, by asking just why the boy was so concerned with keeping them on even after he had managed to lose his penis.

"I mean, they're not much good for anything now, are they Jack? Weren't you just complaining about how much trouble they'd be? I think that maybe Jill has done you a favor." she had said, quite reasonably, Jill thought.

Apparently, this had been exactly the wrong thing to say to the boy. Jack was now banished to the purgatory of his room, to cool his temper, because he had then said some very rude things indeed to both his mother and sister.

Jill undid the top of her vacuum carefully, unhitching the little clasps on either side of the canister, then pulled off the cap, with it's hose attached, entirely. The vacuum's bag sat just below the lid, on a rim, made snug and sealed fast by the clasps Jill had just undone.

Jill usually did her best not to look into the soiled vacuum bags. The amount of dust and dirt they could contain was absolutely more than she could bear to see, most days. Today, though, she looked in, her curiosity getting the better of her.

Her brother's penis, still erect, and his testicles, within their loose and floppy scrotal sack, sat together in a sad little lump at the bottom of the bag, coated in a very thin layer of dust and dirt from the house. Jill was gratified to see just how little dirtiness there had been in the house to be cleaned up today.

"Aside from the two large lumps of filth which I sucked off my brother, of course." she thought, satisfied.

She carefully pulled the bag out of the canister of the vacuum, being sure to fold over the open end in the proper manner, to ensure that as little as possible of the contents could escape. Aside from the heft and weight of her brother's former sexual organs, there wasn't really much that could escape, but it never hurt to take precautions. Moving slowly, she carried the bag to the bin reserved for her own personal use.

Jill opened the bin just as carefully as she had folded over the vacuum bag, so as not to unduly disturb its contents. Contents which proved to be hundreds of identical, nearly empty vacuum bags, just like the one she currently held in her hand. Even though the bags within the bin contained far less, in terms of sheer mass, than the one in her hand, they all really held exactly the same thing.

Trash. Garbage. Dirtiness and filth, things which everyone in the house behind her were better off without.

Jill laid the bag atop all the others, then closed the bin's lid.

It was done.

Jill wanted to look up at her brother's window, to see if he was watching her throw away his manhood. She knew he would be. She dearly wanted to see the expression on his face as she did so.

Jill didn't look up, though, because, more than wanting to see the look on his face, she wanted him to see her treating his filthy parts in exactly the same way that she treated every other bit of dirt she had ever sucked up into her vacuum.

She wanted him to see her simply throwing away the garbage, like always. Nothing unusual; just some common, everyday trash.

Jill hummed to herself quietly as she returned to her beloved vacuum, placing a new, clean bag inside of it and reattaching the top. Her mind was still on the little sack of sad flesh within her bin as she completed this task, and it made her quite happy to think on it.

She knew her brother wouldn't dare to attempt to salvage his trashed parts from her bin. Her mother had made it perfectly clear, just moments ago, a few minutes before she sent him to his room, and also on many occasions previously, that so called "dumpster diving" was completely unacceptable, and would result in Dire Consequences should she find out either one of her children had ever participated in such an activity. This made Jill quite pleased, as she would be able to watch Jack mope around the house for the next several days, his mind dwelling on the pieces of garbage, which used to belong to him, just sitting outside in her bin, directly below his bedroom windows. They might be only feet from him at any one time, but his filthy cock and balls were just as beyond his reach as if they had been launched to the moon itself.

This joyous state of affairs would last until the city men finally came to collect the trash, every dirty bit of it, at the end of the week.

Jill picked up her vacuum, which was now empty and ready for her next scheduled cleaning. It would take place in the late afternoon, as usual. She doubted that she would find much in the way of dirt, dust, or filth in the house this time, and certainly not as much as she had found during the noon cleaning, but one never knew.

There was always some new bit of filthiness popping up which would need sucking up and throwing away.


Author's Note:

This came about because two things: I have been vacuuming entirely too much lately, and earlier today I entered into a Silly Mood. The combination of these two things resulted in this story.

As an aside, you would not believe just how much trouble I've had trying to figure out the correct spelling for vacuum. As of this moment, I'm still not sure if I've got it right. If it comes out correctly when you read this, be assured that it is probably solely the result of the automatic spell checking that happens before I post these stories. It's a bit embarrassing, I have to admit.


Poetic. I really like how nonchalant Jill was when she vacuumed Jack.


Maybe Jill can vacuum some female toys?


This was a bit strange,
After that "Wha.. What have you done?"
I expected something terrible. but instead, they started arguing about it as it was some cheap toy.
And carpet did not even got stained with the pool of blood LOL

I guess Jack will have to beg her mom to buy him new
dick and pair of balls on their next visit to the toy store. LOL


Yes, you have indeed spelled "vacuum" correctly. Well done!

I hate that mother though. Not as a character but as a person, because no matter how unsightly clutter is, one should always think to recycle what can be recycled at the very least, let alone retrieve what you might need later. My dad is also of the "throw things out first, ask questions later" mentality and it drives me up the wall.



Oooh, an alternate ending where the penis is "recycled" by the mother and/or sister would be amazing!

[Return][Go to top] [Catalog] [Post a Reply]
Delete Post [ ]