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A Thousand Worlds of Despair: Survivor's Doom

(suicide, sacrifice, torture)

Rena Ryūgū stood on the hill overlooking the remains of what had once been the village of Hinamizawa, the place that had once been her home. 20 years ago the population had died in a single night from what the government claimed to be volcanic gas released from the Onigafuchi Marsh. 20 years ago she had lost everything that had ever meant anything to her.

20 years ago she had done unforgivable things. She had never quite figured out what exactly had made her go so completely insane, but the end result had been her taking the entire school hostage and threatening to blow them all up, unless the ‘truth’ was acknowledged by the Sonozakis. 20 years later and she still doesn’t know what kind of truth she had wanted, what truth she had believed so zealously in.

Her thoughts had been drowned in delusions about bacteria and aliens, intense paranoia driving her to suspect her friends and the village elders of a conspiracy. She would have murdered the entire school if her friends had not stopped her... if Keiichi had not managed to snap her out of her psychosis. Even though everything should have ended well for her friends, disaster had struck.

20 years later and she still couldn’t cope with the fact that her father and friends had all died and she had survived, even though she had been the one to do terrible things, having been locked up in the police station at the time of the disaster. 20 years she had been separated from her dear friends and her loving father, 20 years that had left her with no more tears to shed.

Every new day was torture, her existence haunted by the past she could not, would not escape from. She had tried to live on, to continue on and to honour the memory of those who had been lost. With the resources that she had had, she had tried to find out the truth of what had happened, tried to make something good come out of the horrible tragedy, tried to atone for her sins. But it had been all in vain. 20 years later and she was no closer to the truth, her questions still unanswered.

She despaired that she would ever find out what had been going on regarding Rika. That night at the junkyard when Rika had tried to give her an injection, she had seen a Rika that was fundamentally different from the one that she knew. Occasionally this Rika would take her friend’s place, her purple eyes and voice dark with something that Rena never could identify.

This darker Rika always spoke cryptically, her words hinting at far greater events. That Rika had spoken about finding a new Hinamizawa, different from the current one that she had called a doomed world. At the time Rena’s psychosis had blinded her to the implications of those words, but in the years since she had had nothing but time to ponder over the last few weeks of her childhood, the last few weeks of her happiness.

Rika had known something. Mion hadn’t, of that Rena was sure; and as Mion was a Sonozaki, the family that knew everything going on in the village, that made the mystery ever murkier. If Rika had known something, why hadn’t she told them anything?
Rika’s disembowelled body had been found during the disaster. Not even the authorities denied that she had been murdered, but no-one knew why or by whom. Had this been what Rika knew? Was it because of what she knew?

For 20 years Rena had struggled with this, questions unceasingly gnawing at her, her life poisoned by her desperate and futile quest for closure. It was impossible not to imagine what may have changed if she had taken the injection that Rika had offered. If nothing else, she would have died with her friends and her father, free from this miserable fate. Standing here, looking out over all that she had lost, agony gripped her heart in a vice that was both freezing and burning.

She had known, had been warned by the countless doctors over the years, that returning here would do her no good. Detective Ōishi, who had handled the case regarding her hostage taking of the school, had asked her to come here, to speak with him and his colleagues. He too must have known what this place would do to her, but still he had asked, had persisted in his attempts to get her here. But she couldn’t blame him, she wasn’t sure that she wouldn’t have come of her own volition now that they area was open again, driven by the demons chasing her...

His questions had been nothing new and neither were her answers, causing him and his colleagues to leave after a short while. She had told him everything in the first few years, had answered again and again until she could recite the interrogations from memory. He had never given up on the case, always trying to solve the mystery, driven by his own demons. It was of little comfort to her that someone was still trying to solve the mystery, but she held little hope that he and his colleagues would have any more success than she had, even if they were police.


The day was starting to enter its dying hour, the sun slipping ever further towards the horizon. Rena stood at the edge of the junkyard, tears dripping down her pale cheeks as she sobbed uncontrollably, the joyful memories of playing here tearing her fragile heart to pieces. She dropped to her knees, hugging herself as the despair sliced into her soul, the effect of being back here so much more powerful than she could have ever imagined.

After a while, she slumped forward, resting on her outstretched hands as she drenched the ground wither her tears. During these 20 years she had tried to end the agony on many occasions. Always she would stop herself, holding onto the faint glimmer of hope that she could still make something good come out of this tragedy. Being here however had brought it home that she wouldn’t be able to accomplish anything, no clues or answers laid hidden within the village.

Icy despair gripped her soul as she slowly rose to her feet, her path clear to her. It was time to fix the error of 20 years ago, time to make sure that the disaster had claimed the whole village, time to ensure that they was no doomed survivor left, time to atone for her sins by offering herself.

She stepped out of her black heels as her fingers nimbly unbuttoned her purple business suit jacket and then the white blouse underneath. The jacket was removed and neatly folded on the ground, followed by one hand untucking the tails of her blouse from beneath her purple knee length skirt and the other hand unbuttoning and unzipping the skirt. Soon both the blouse and skirt were neatly folded on top of the jacket, leaving Rena in her underwear. Using both hands, she unclipped her plain white bra, removing it to release her modest but perky breasts, capped with light pink nipples. The bra soon joined the neat pile of clothes before Rena pulled the matching plain panties down her legs, her flat abdomen and nest of red pubic hair illuminated by the soft sunlight, the slimness of her body a product of moderate exercise and a small appetite.

With all of her clothes in a neat pile, Rena made her way onto the nearest pile of scrap, intentionally avoiding the deeper part of the junkyard that had been her favourite playground. She barely winced as the sharp edges and points of the pile’s objects sliced and lacerated her bare feet, a trail of crimson footprints soon forming as she climbed up the pile. During her journey she picked up possible sacrificial tools, wanting to use the village’s trash to offer trash like herself. Soon she spotted a relatively flat area forming part of the pile, a suitable sacrificial altar, ringed with discarded bottles and pieces of masonry.

Settling her naked body and weapons down on her altar, she again barely reacted at the pain as sharp objects dug into her pale back, legs and buttocks. Determined that she should suffer as part of her sacrifice, she clenched a sharp shard of broken glass in her fist, causing her blood to drip from her hand as the glass lacerated her palm. With a determined movement of her arm, she shoved the piece of glass into her left milky white thigh, crying out as it went through skin and fat, slicing into her muscle. Fresh tears welled up in her eyes as she next took a jagged piece of metal and plunged it into her abdomen between her navel and her right hip bone, giving another cry as it sank into her guts. Taking a sharp metal hook, she pierced the structure of her right knee, imbedding the hook behind her patella bone, shredding through cartilage. Trying to miss her vital organs so as to prolong her sacrifice, she took a piece of sharpened wood and pierced herself below her left rib cage, moaning as the rough wood sank into her insides.

Pausing for a moment to radiate in the pain blossoming through her body, the sky a deep red as day started to give birth to night, Rena realised to her shock that she was aroused from the pain coursing through her body. It had been many years since her nipples had ached and her clit had throbbed, the feeling unreal but unmistakable. She moaned as the pain and her arousal mixed together, shivering at the intensity of the sensation.

Hesitatingly she cupped her breasts, giving an involuntary moan as her palms met her rock hard nipples. Fondling her breasts, she felt a deeper despair that she had never been able to enjoy herself sexually since the disaster. They only pleasure she had had was from before, teasing Keiichi every now and then, playing naughty games with Mion... But she had never felt the joy of passionate sex, of carrying life, of feeding her babies with her milk...

Icy tears streamed from her glazed blue eyes she stabbed her left breast, the sharpened slim piece of metal piercing skin and fat again and again as she punctured her mammary, offering herself completely. With a small sob, she used another piece of metal to detach her right nipple from its breast, blood pouring from the wound her sawing attack had created, fire spreading through her nerves. Gripping the fat bag, she used the same piece of metal to carve deep gashes into it, pieces of fat oozing out, blood flowing freely from her mutilated chest.

Gripping one of the bottles, she spread her legs and nether lips wide, starting to insert it into her vagina, huffing as she strained to force the object into her fairly tight sex. She could not manage to get it more than halfway in, but that soon mattered little as she took up a hefty piece of masonry and started to viciously smash it into her pelvis. Falling dust caked her pubic hair as the bottle broke inside of her, the shards of glass slicing her cunt to ribbons even as they were turned into smaller shards by further blows, her crimson blood soon pouring out from between her legs. With a savage smile she used her hands to force the rest of the bottle inside and then also started smashing it. As her birth canal was destroyed, the shards and stone together made short work of her bladder and the lower parts of her intestines, causing a mix of blood darkened urine to join the flow between her legs and her faecal matter to seep out through her dilated anus and the gashes in her intestines. A further blow caused sharp glass shards to cut through her clit, making her give a breathless moan as the explosion of pain sent her straight into orgasm, the mix of agony and pleasure ripping through her mind and soul.

As the sky darkened, Rena basked in the afterglow of the orgasm, her body slipping slowly into darkness. She barely had the strength to lift the stone and smash another bottle to pieces which soon filled her mouth. Her throat and mouth soon turned into a bloody horror as she chewed and swallowed the shards, her tongue sliced to pieces. With final savagery, she used the jagged remains of a spoon to puncture her body over and over, her life blood pouring out of her penetrated spleen and heart, air wheezing from her punctured lungs.

Rena slipped into darkness, the bright stars and moon overhead illuminating her broken corpse as a lake of blood formed around it. The last sight that her sad eyes saw was her friends waiting for her in a new Hinamizawa. A soft smile formed on her face as she died, finally able to join her friends.


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