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/lit/ - Literature

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 No.7935

Elise, called Lisa by everyone she loved, enjoyed nothing more than spanking her younger half-sister. Living in a very mixed region of relative peace, she was very powerful and popular. Her shimmering black hair and green eyes were sharp and straight. Her tits were big, but not over large or unwieldy for her slim but well-muscled chest. Her apple bottom was perfectly round and pert, and she made for a mature and intimiating figure.

Her younger much younger step-sister, Leah was just half-way through highschool and enjoying her summerbreak as best she could, which wasn't easy due to her only family being her tyrannical sibling. At hardly 5' tall, wearing shoes, she had breasts that were also large, especially for her otherwise petite frame, and hips that were just as round as her sister. Her ass was actually much bigger and took up more of her legs than her soft thighs just underneath.

Being immensely tech-savvy, a skilled cook and martial artist, and particularly a competent tactician, Lisa commanded the respect of even her political foes and loved making a show of her punishing her younger sister, particularly in the nation to her South-West, where she lived at the border.

They hated her but adored beating people, especially young children, and needed powerful allies. She fit the bill, but was constantly a thorn in their side, breaking their laws and many suspected she gave money to rebel groups. It was discovered that she had accounts doing just that, but she blamed her younger sister, Leah, and swore to make things right.

"I will give her a punishment to sate you all!" She exclaimed on her video channels.

"If she doesn't execute the little bitch with hornets, she hasn't made things right." A pundit said. Many commenters under her videos agreed, saying similar things.

 No.7938

It was clear sunny day and stadium was full. Monitors showed a close-up of the gate from which the young brat that financed their worst terrorists was going to be led from.

It lowered, and the audience cheered. Numbering in the thousands at least, Leah knew she would be witnessed by many more throughout time on shared videos.
"PLEASE IT WASN'T ME! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" She begged loudly as she ran to keep pace with the horse she was tied to.

The monitors above her showed her being rushed for a moment from one side of the stadium to the center. Her older sister stood there with five minions who chained her to her final resting place.

They stood in a circle around her and paddled all of the soft flesh around her body, eventually inserting needles in her fingers and toes.
"ow ow ow aouhhhowww" Her cried were squeaky yelps at first but turned to deep moaning and then desperate bawling.


Behind her, a cauldron held searing red-hot metal. The five minions each held one and pressed into a different spot of her already hurt body. Her breasts and the front of her thighs were each branded by one of four giant metal circles, and a particularly big one- though they were all very large- was pressed on her belly. They held it there for seconds before stepping behind her and branding her again. The thighs being hit at the back and the particularly large one slamming her bottom, and the two that had been used on her big boobs were also used on her bottom, pushing in where the pressure of the largest brand squeezed her fleshy butt out sideways. Finally, the 2 that had branded her breasts and buttocks stood at her sides and, one the other three branded her back, slammed their red metal circles into the poor young girl's face, permanently blinding her and leaving her in unimaginable pain.

 No.7943

what, am I supposed to enjoy this shit?

seriously, can we delete seriously crap writings?

 No.7951

What's your criticisms?

 No.7954

This is an interesting premise, but the details are vague. I think the story could use with some fleshing out. The back ground can stay simple(though a little more detail there wouldn't hurt), but the action needs more description. Build up, what is the girl feeling? Here is an example of what I'm talking about: They dragged the girl to the center stage. She pleaded, tears streaming down her face. When she saw the brazier with the branding irons heating in it, she became frantic. She thrashed and struggled as much as her petit frame could. One of the guards backhanded her across the face, stunning her long enough from them to rip her blouse open. Her large tits sprang forth, slapping loudly against her stomach....

See, flesh things out. Keep writing, it takes practice. Cheers.

 No.7955

mmm thank you! your short insight was, I have to admit, more emotionally appealing than my story, how unfortunate I can't edit previous paragraphs...

 No.7971

>>7951

FILLER

seriously. FILLER THIS SHIT, EXPLAIN A BIT GODDAMNIT

 No.8008

Sucks ass.

 No.8012


 No.8013

>>8008
hahaha ur number is boob

 No.8018

>>8013

This is OP. And he is a colossal faggot.

 No.8021

SHUDUP BOIB

 No.8026

Can we have this guy banned? Sanguine humorous people are a plague on this world.

 No.8027

not to mention none of your stories are even remotely interesting. You are like the 12 year old kid trying to act grown in a club her just entered.

do not post in gurochan again.

 No.8031

>>8027
That's funny, many stories have been well recieved and I don't see any of yours here, child.

 No.8173

>>8031
Because i write no guro faggot

 No.8888

>>8173

then stfu

 No.8966

What the hell is going on here? Yeah, the story's not the best but why is there such a disproportionate backlash?

I know we all like to read and write about horrible people doing horrible things, but let's try to not be our characters. Give the writer some criticisms and feedback, don't just spew unnecessary hate.

 No.8969

Thank you. I appreciate the legitimate criticisms, btw. This really isn't my best work. I've taken to writing outlines, which is what this really should've been. I didn't have much in the way of that at the time. Here's to improvement and contribution all around!

 No.9002

Gay name gay story.1/10

 No.9312

My name is, I believe the term, unisex, though there's nothing wrong with a name having sex with whatever gender it prefers, as long as the name is with consenting adults. The story is somewhat lesbian at parts. Yw.



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