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 No.17824

This is a story I’ve been working on from some time. English is not my native language so don’t mind some wording error.
I would really appreciate suggestions on how to go on with the story each time.

CHAPTER 1: THE WAKE UP
Maria woke up feeling dizzy and confused, it was dark around her and she couldn’t recognize the place. Last thing she could remember was her going bed at night, then nothing else.

A strong sensation of fear started to grow in her chest as she realized that her wrists and ankles were holded down by something. Fear that became panic as soon as she realized that she was naked, and that she couldn’t scream due to a piece of tape placed over her mouth.

Suddenly the lights went on, Maria looked around her to see that she was lying on a steel table, wrist and ankles secured to it by chains. The room was empty aside from a small table near her, covered with a blanket. As she suspected, Maria was lying there completely naked and helpless. Tears started to run down her cheeks.

Suddenly the door opens and a man walked in. He was dressed completely in black with his face covered by a mask.
The man reached the table where Maria was trashing trying to free herself.
“Well well… look how pretty she is this time… we are going to have a very good time together” he said while gently stroking Maria’s belly.
“You are going to die… but it will be a hell of a run before you will finally expire” the poor girl tryed eve harder to free herself and scream from behind the tape but all was vain.

The man reached the blanked covering the other table and pulled it off to reveal a full set of shiny nasty tools, all kinds of blades, drills and saws.
“Here I have everything that I need to slowly and painfully butcher you beautiful body, but first I will need to get you in the mood”
The man reached under the table and took in his hands what looked like a vibrator.

CHAPTER 2: THE PLEASURE
The man got close to Maria again, the stunning brunette was trashing wildly trying to get away from him. “I’m going to insert this little toy in your trembling pussy, I designed it personally, it will get you to the orgasm heaven while I send you to a hell of pain”

The man reaches between Maria’s spreaded legs and inserted the vibrator into the girl’s tight pussy. It was a perfect fit.
The man switched on the device with a remote in his hand and Maria started to feel pleasure coming from her sex.

“For now I will put it at the lowest power… I’m going to increase it later on.. I don’t want you to orgasm too soon”

For a second Maria forgot the situation she was in, she left herself go to the waves of pleasure, ondulating her belly as if she was making love to someone.

“Yes that’s the mood I was talking about! Now you’re ready for the pain to start!”
The man reached for the table to pick up a surgeon scalpel.
Approaching Maria once more he placed the shining blade flat between the brunette small breasts.
“Time to give some attention to those little nipples of yours”.

 No.17828

This sort of reminds Edward's story
https://www.gurochan.cx/lit/res/17618.html
And looks like Maria is even more masochistic. :)

It is only beginning so nothing much to comment or suggest but everything looks good so far. I am waiting to see how he will use all those tools and how our masochistic Maria will react.
maybe I could suggest to place mirror in front of her so that she could fully enjoy the view of being butchered ;)

maybe if she is going to die there is no point for the rapist to wear mask it is not like she can recognize him later LOL

Your mistakes are almost in visible ;) but story telling is a bit plain. Maybe because of language issues.

 No.17836

Intriguing start!

Onix, I wouldn't call either character masochistic as it's not like they want or enjoy what's happening to them! Hehe.

 No.17838

>>17836
well, the story is saying us that even if she dopes not want it she does enjoy what is happening after all ;)

 No.17839

True! Intrigued to see where it goes!

 No.17860


Thanks for all your comments, I will try to improve my story telling in time.
Here is the third part. Once again I will appreciate any suggestions on how to move the story forward.

CHAPTER 3: NIPPLES
Maria felt the coldness of the steel blade between her breasts, but something strange was happening in her… her body reacted with lust instead of fear. The vibrator in her pussy was keeping her on the edge of an orgasm and she was moaning from behind the tape.
The man was surprised to see Maria’s that nipples where rock hard, those pink and sensitive nipples that many men have tasted in the past. He moved the blade to her left nipple, caressing it without making any damage. Removing the blade he started to suck on Maria’s left hard nipple, taking her whole left breast in his hand while doing so.

Maria’s body was moving invitingly on the table, the man knew she was about to orgasm.
“Now it’s time for our game to start for real” he thought as he took the remote and increased the vibration in the brunette tight pussy.
The moans of the poor girl became louder, the man took her saliva covered left nipple and pinched it with his fingers and waited for the moment when Maria exploded in a wild orgasm, with a swift movement he cut her sensitive nipple free from her body.

A piercing and unbearable pain took Maria back to reality as she looked in horror at her left breast, blood erupted from the wound as the pain increases second by second.
“Too bad, no other men will have the pleasure to have a taste of this little one” he said as he examined the bloody detached nipple.
Satisfied he placed the little piece of meat inside a jar and moved to the other side of the table.
“Now what are we going to do with your right?”

Maria was still in shock from pain, the man could tell by the look in her eyes that she was begging him to let her go. “I cannot let you go my dear, your sexy body will be reduced to pieces when I’ll be finished with you” he thought

The man reached Maria’s right nipple with the scalpel “I’ve always wondered how nipples are in the inside… let’s find out” he says as the scalpel started to cut the still erect nipple vertically.
When the scalpel reached the base of the girl nipple and blood started to seep out, the man with his finger and thumb separated the two halves and examined the inside.

Maria’s body was thrashing against the bindings in sheer pain, she couldn’t believe that she will not feel her nipples harden in pleasure anymore, or the warm mouth of a man sucking it.

When the man finished playing with her bisected nipple he paused to admire his work: Maria sexy naked body trembling in fear and pain, blood covered her once attractive breast and keeps seeping out of the wounds with every heartbeat.

“This has been so much fun… I will get back to these later” he said as he squeezed Maria’s left breast drawing more blood from where her nipple used to be.
“There are so many parts of your body I can take care of… so… what’s next?”

 No.17863

>>17860
This is going pretty well ;)

I will suggest not just cut the remaining nipple but cut the breast into pieces and turn it into flower.

And maybe do not mutilate her pussy just yet, but use some sharp objects to pierce something ;)


I am very curious how drills and saws will be used :)



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