As Jon rode out to the lands beyond the wall, he finally felt at peace with himself sinc- suddenly Tormund tackled him to the ground! "Tormund-kun what are you doing?" asked Jon winkily "IM GONNA FOOKING RAYPE YA JON!" replied Tormund sexily. "Oh my" Jon flirtifly yelled as he unzipped his skin, essentially leaving a meat body, Tormund then yelled "FOOK YA!!!" before he began tap dancing while slapping his ass the same time when Stannis came out of nowhere! "I thought you died in season five, Stannis-kun" Jon asked, "I did but since DnD are hacks, I got resurrected" Stannis replied grumpily. Ghost then approached the group "yo yo yo, ma nigga (pls dont ban me mods), wassup ya doing" asked Ghost who now identified as a female because empowerment and sheet. It was at this moment, the main threat of this story revealed itself, Theon's dick! Yes, after Theon's dick got tragically separated from its master, it went through a self discovering journey to reunite with its master but then Theon died and got raped (shown off screen because of political correctness) at the cold hands of the Night King. "Come on guys, we've got to suck on Theon's dick if the Seven Kingdoms is to survive" Stannis declared, "Oooh Stannis-kun, you were always my favorite, if you were still alive in Season 6, then you could have defeated the Bolton army in just one episod- oh wait" Jon pondered. Soon all the characters from every episode (yes even that little girl who got killed by the dragon) was summoned to suck on Theon's dick, the toxic cum was too much for every character do Azor Ahai sacrificed himself to take all the cum to himself so no one else would have to. Through all this, Bran was sitting on the reforged iron throne masturbating at the whole event "fuck yes! Fuck Yes! Fuck YES!". Meanwhile, in the real world George R.R. Martin was masturbating writing this fanfic instead of writing for Winds of Winter, " Fuck yeah, Im rich because of the show, what's the point anyway except for eating and having sex" Martin said greedily "I think that's a wonderful philosophy dear" Neil Gaiman said beside him at the bed, jerking George's dick gracefully.
amen, Amen, AMEN!
Still a better ending than what we actually got.
this is worth being a meme