/lit/ - Literature

Password (For file deletion.)

 No.15761[View All]

Tags: mf/fsnon-con crushing mashing ripping shredding destruction rape scat lolli teen (probably more to follow)

Hello sickos. I'd never done creative writing before, so thought I'd give it a try. 4 days later I've roughed out nearly 20000 words, and am pleased enough with it to upload it here.

Feedback is welcome. I'd like to know if I'm deluded, so I don't have to waste any more time on this.

If you spot any glaring errors, keep them to yourself, and hopefully no-one else will notice ;)

The general theme is a modern underground dungeon. Girls and young ladies get brutally raped, and then meet annihilation in various machines. Lots of gore and minimal plot. The format is pretty open ended, so I'll probably keep adding chapters as I go along.
177 posts omitted. [View All]



"Bob scratched his beard, and considered a scientific experiment to settle the matter empirically, using a system of large weights and strategically placed microphones…"



It does bother me a little that the characters aren't really well developed. I mean, basically they're all just me, but with added mannerisms.

Bob scratched his beard.
Emma pursed her lips.
Kasia said "Yay!"


I suppose I'm being a bit hyperbolic, but I kinda feel that's how it is sometimes. Still, probably can't be helped. We are Groot.



Emma strained against the ropes, testing for weaknesses that might allow her to free her hand, but found none. With a resigned sigh, she turned her head and looked across at Kasia, who, similarly emperilled, was lying on the Arena floor next to her. "Well," she said, by way of an apology, "I really didn't think he would go through with it, or else I would never have brought the matter up."

"Shh! No talking!" Bob snapped from the seat of the Caterpillar CS68B, as fourteen tons of yellow approached the girls' toes, "Or it'll affect the measurments. I've only got one chance at getting this right." It had taken him ages to set the microphones up, and it annoyed him that the girls didn't seem to share his respect for the scientifc method. But it was important to know, if he was to take himself seriously as a sub-terranean merchant of doom. The microphones would measure the crunchyness, and by measuring the extent of the splatter, the squishyness could be determined too. Then it would be a simple calculation to correct for body mass, and everyone would have the answer they were looking for.

Of course they had all placed bets on the outcome, and as Kasia felt her spleen squirt it's way from her left nostril, she was worried that she might lose. After all, she was supposed to be the crunchy one. Emma too felt slightly dejected as she heard what sounded like a fat guy sitting on a bag of popcorn emanate from her chest, hardly muffled at all by her mammaries.

Bob grinned, for once quite pleased with the lack of screaming, and pulled out his blue notebook. Another successful test!



Oh YUM!!


Ha! it was a spur of the moment thing. Not sure if it really worked, but hey.

Chapter 15 could be up in the next day or three. I think you'll approve of forthcoming developments…


I wait with bated breath ;)


Having to deal with so many girls is making it take a bit longer than usual.

And I've had to research a bunch of stuff too.

And I'm stealing some inspiration from another nice story which was suggested to me.

And there's a fair bit of preparation and tension building to be done for the 'big event'.

And I've got to figure out many splatter scenes.

And character interactions.

And then I keep distracting myself with more characters.

And what if something terrible happens?

And what if it doesn't?

But in between all those distractions and necessities, it's going really well. I'm super happy with what I have so far, and very excited TBQH. But it'll probably be a few days. I just hope it won't be a colossal disappointment.


You haven't disappointed yet and I doubt that you will


Thanks Squishy!


You know, I do wonder what it would be like to have your innards shoot out of your nose like that. Not that'd I'd ever be so adventurous to try it out myself but maybe a thick oral enema…


>You know, I do wonder what it would be like to have your innards shoot out of your nose like that.

I'm beginning to suspect my readership is not composed of entirely normal individuals.

> Not that'd I'd ever be so adventurous to try it out myself

That's the problem with people these days. No commitment.

I suppose you want an anonymous author to create a fictional character who subjects another fictional character to that fate, then have a third fictional character retell the observation to the aforesaid anonymous author (who may or may not also be fictional), and then presume me to post about it in this thread.

Also, I suspect that if your spleen was shooting from your nose, you'll probably wish you hadn't asked.

In fact, I also suspect you'd be beyond wishing anything at all (no doubt a welcome development by that point).

Anyway, it seems marginally possible, and it amuses me, so I probably should write something like that. Probably in chapter 16. Then you'll know.


>Anyway, it seems marginally possible, and it amuses me, so I probably should write something like that. Probably in chapter 16. Then you'll know.

I'll keep an eye out for it… I have a gut feeling it'll be a smash hit.


>That's the problem with people these days. No commitment.

You say that, but I think we approximated it fairly well. It is thoroughly uncomfortable and painful to have a thick, chunky liquid pushed out of your nose. Also, it is kinda dangerous and I don't recommend anyone else try it since I passed out from the coughing fit I experienced directly afterwords.

It is a real good thing my partner and I are well versed in the art of breathplay. Really, I have to wear turtlenecks and collars far too often for my liking.


I see what you did there…

God, please stop. I worry for your safety, and that my fanbase will suddenly shrink by a third. Also slightly jealous.


>I worry for your safety

We don't normally take it too far but I'll admit… We've been going at it a bit harder recently because of some rather fantastic inspiration. But worry not my dear, beloved Squunch; we have a good safety system in place. One involving a taser and an auto release system for any toys in case one of us goes too far for the other's liking. Haven't had to use it yet but the tests were electrifying.


Well, if you had told me about the taser to start with, I wouldn't have had to worry, would I?

But it seems quite a complex way to test the theory. I mean, If I had my way, all you'd have to do is lie there…


Squunch, if you ever find me I'll let you run whatever tests you'd like on me.


Ah! breaking my heart by teasing me with something I can't have. You're so mean.


I think chapter 15 will be up later today. It's been going slowly due to lots of boring research (womens' clothing), and a bit of trouble getting all the plot elements in place, and in the right order, while still maintaining tension. My main approach to solving this kind of problem is to sleep a lot, which seems to work, but isn't immediately productive.

Anyway, I think it's going to be good, and then I can start on ch. 16, which in theory will be the most thrilling, action packed chapter yet.


>>16921 Can't wait! It will be awesome, no doubt.


Chapter 15. Kasia's Volvo.

Bob awoke from a dream with morning wood. There had been a terrible red-skinned devil-woman, and Bob had managed to trap her in an iron maiden. As the halves of the device had closed together, she had screamed, but instead of blood leaking from the spikes, it had poured from her eyes, nose, and ears. It was highly arousing, and Bob rolled over, reaching for his wife, only to discover Kasia's nubile body first, reminding him that he and Emma had stayed the night in the factory; partly through laziness, and partly to make sure Kasia didn't get murdered in her sleep again if the Bitches managed to escape the cage.

Then, without a word, he turned Kasia onto her side as if to spoon, and started gently fucking her cute, pert little teen ass, as he re-lived the bloody eroticism of the dream, imagining Emma in the devil woman's place.

Kasia woke, breathed a sexy little half gasp, half moan, and snuggled her butt in towards Bob's attentions. The best way to wake up ever, she thought. Interestingly, although she would never know, Bob had the exact same thought. Then Emma too stirred, and soon had joined the action, using a double ended vibrator to share the living fuck-toy with her husband.

On the happy conclusion the pre-prandial coitus, Kasia showered, then padded into the kitchen with a towel around her head. Soon the place smelled of coffee, and she started making the breakfast of steaks, eggs, fried potatos, tomatoes, and mushrooms. It was going to be a big day today, with much work to prepare for entertaining the new guests.

The trio discussed this over breakfast. "It's a little bit unfair that little ones have to suffer for the Bitches," Kasia said. "But only a little bit. Anyway I thought we could do them next. That tart Lauren can watch her sisters get snuffed. Then we'll take care of Megan. She's fucking evil. Then destroy big Georgie nice and slowly, leaving Zoe til the end."

"All planned out!" laughed Emma.

"Well, I've had months to think about it. At first I thought we could put them all together in the hamster wheel, and slowly make a giant mess, and see which one is the last to stop screaming. But I don't really want to put them in machines right away. I wanna hunt the fuckers down. Maybe like we did with the twins. It's more fun that way."

Bob nodded sagely. "Then I've got some things to show you. Maybe they'll help you decide."

So after breakfast, Bob and Kasia headed for the Arena. "You need to wait here a moment," Bob said, as they reached the door to the Arena workshop. Kasia had been forbidden from going into the Arena area for months. It was such a drag not being able to skate there, and when she had asked why, Bob had told her it was a secret, and if she tried to look, her employment contract would be terminated and she would be given to Emma as a plaything to test new toys with.

After a few minutes, Bob returned and let her in. Two machines had their dust sheets removed. Kasia recognised these as the ones she had spotted under the tarps soon after her captivity, but it was the first time she had seen them properly.

"They're pretty much finished," Bob said proudly, "I've just got to put the seat back on that one, and test the hydraulics on the other. Could have them ready for tomorrow, if you can wait that long. What do you think?"

Kasia looked the industrial grey metal over, took in the scent of fresh paint, and her heart started to race. She reached out and stroked one with her hand. Once upon a time, it had been a rather mundane Komatsu warehouse forklift, but Bob had modified it extensively to reflect its new role in the Arena. Some minor changes had been made to the cab where the driver sits, with the addition of Plexiglass screens to prevent interference from stubborn victims, and of course, the addition of many cameras.

But what really got Kasia's juices flowing was at the front. Instead of regular fork blades, the machine now sported a pair of hydraulically operated spiky jaws. At over three feet long, and adorned with numerous three-inch teeth, Kasia thought the effect was rather crocodilian.

Unlike the jaws of the familiar cuddly reptile, these differed in several major ways: Firstly they were aligned vertically, so they chomped from the sides, rather than top and bottom. Secondly, the teeth, instead of being fixed, were set into endless ten-inch deep belts made from steel plates, just like caterpillar tracks set on their sides, so that whatever was being bitten, could be easily dragged deeper into the jaws as the tracks rotated.

The functionality of the forklift platform was of course retained too. Thus these machines had incredible destructive versatility, being able to spike, crush, chew, consume, lift, hold, drop or tear apart any pretty young thing that deserved its fury.

"Bob, they're absolutely beautiful," Kasia squealed. "And perfect! I can't wait!"

"One problem is, I don't know what to call them."

"How about Forkodiles?"

Bob rolled his eyes.

Kasia tried again, "Well, I suppose they're kinda like dodgems. And crocodiles."

"Girl, why are you so obsessed with crocodiles?"

"I just wanna be re-incarnated as one. On an island full of pretty brown girls, who have to come to the lake shore every day to fetch water."

Bob laughed. "You and me both, sweet pea, you and me both!"

"How about Crocododgems?"

Bob shrugged. It was a stupid name, but probably as good as any other. "Okay. But there's another problem," he said with a wicked smile. "There's three of us, but only two of those. Emma said we could easily fix that problem if you helped us test them out, if you know what I mean. Then we'd only need two. What do you say, slave girl?"

Kasia feigned wide-eyed terror. "Thankyou for the opportunity master! B..B..But who will clean up after?"

Bob grinned. "That's exactly what I said to Emma. So I got this instead, with you in mind. Call it an early Christmas present." He motioned to a much larger tarp. Excitedly, Kasia helped Bob pull the cover off the huge machine. Then, with tears in her eyes, she gave Bob a big hug. "I'm so sorry Bob, I just peed my panties."

Bob frowned at the trickle running down her leg. "You're a big girl now, nearly sixteen, so I think you're old enough to learn to drive," he said, handing her the keys. "And I want my daughter to be safe, so I bought you a Volvo. That way, if you do get into a little bump when you're driving, the other party is likely to come off second best."

Kasia couldn't help but scream. "But Bob, it's a fuckin' steam roller!!"

Bob laughed, "Well, technically it's a 'Volvo SD135 soil compactor'. It's not the biggest, only about thirteen tons, but the man at the dealership said it was ideal first ride for a beginner. Besides, the Arena isn't so huge, so I had to compromise a bit."

"I can't wait to show the Bitches, they'll be so jealous!"

"Yes, briefly," agreed Bob. "Get in, try it for size."

Kasia climbed the ladder up into the cab. Bob had customised it a little, adding a number of display screens so Kasia could see the camera feeds from all around, including under the roller.

"You can practice in it later," Bob said, "After you've cleaned and disinfected the Tub and the floor all around where the soup splashed out, and the cage. Oh, and make sure there's no bits of Chloe stuck in the propeller. And Emma says we've run out of PJs so you'll have to launder all the Bitches party outfits too, including footwear, and fix them something to eat. It would be cool if you let them use your beauty stuff too, so they can look their slutty best tomorrow." Then he added with a grin, "I'm sorry it's a lot of work, but really it's your own fault for having so many enemies."

Kasia hugged him again. She didn't have words for her gratitude, but then, she noticed something behind him. "Bob, what's that under there?" she said, pointing at another low, long tarp.

Bob sighed, and his tone became stern. "It's a special device I've been working on. It instantly vapourizes nosy girls who get too close to it, and turns them into screams and pink mist. I'll be looking for volunteers soon, to test it out. Do you know any nosy girls?"

Kasia looked at her feet and shook her head.

A little later, the trio met at the cage. The Bitches were all looking incredibly sorry for themselves, having spent the cold night with their party clothes soaked in Chloe's disgusting, stinking juices, tied and gagged, lying on the painfully uncomfortable wire floor. There was another smell too, of stale urine as the girls had no choice but to relieve themselves where they lay, and shit too, as Lauren had helplessly filled her panties during the night. The little ones were sobbing, and Georgie was trying to make some kind of plea through her gag.

"Not looking so pretty now, are we?" taunted Kasia, echoing their words from a year earlier. "But we're going to be nice to you now. Tomorrow, there's a contest. Whoever wins, gets the big prize – being my bitch forever. It won't always be fun. But life is life. At least if you win you won't end up like poor Chloe."

Processing them all took a while, as they were removed one at a time at gun point, humiliated, stripped of their filthy outfits, teased, sent into the showers and then mocked, measured, photographed and taunted. Then they were locked away, the three sisters in one cell together, while Zoe, Georgie and Megan got solitary confinement.

Chloe (16) 32D 26 34 1.50m 50kg

Zoe (17) 34B 24 34 1.73m 56kg
Georgie (17) 36D 28 38 1.70m 71kg
Megan (16) 30C 24 32 1.54m 54kg
Lauren (17) 36DD 24 34 1.80m 62kg
Christi (12) 1.64m 45kg
Amy (8) 1.15m 21kg

Kasia had completed her cleaning jobs by tea-time. It had been pretty hard work. Arriving at the Tub, she found a disgusting pool of filth, with a thick layer of skin, fat and hair floating on the surface, together with an eyeball. Heavier muscle and bone had sunk to the bottom, almost invisible through the congealing murk. Chloe's gut bacteria, having been granted their freedom, found themselves in paradise, and were ecstatic about turning the tables on their erstwhile overlord. They had already made significant pungent progress towards establishing their utopian empire through exponential population expansion, and it took much scrubbing and bleaching for Kasia to quell that uprising.

Back at her flat, she showered, put the Bitches clothes in the dryer, and started preparing their meal. She decided on a big pot of beef stew, tasty, easy and nutritious, served with thick slabs of farmhouse bread and butter for extra carbos. Then apple pie and ice-cream. Those girls were going to need their energy. And Emma had taught Kasia that boosting morale was very important, thus making its subsequent destruction all the more delicious.

Kasia was already exhausted from working all day, her arms aching from scrubbing the Tub, but couldn't wait to meet Bob and Emma in the Arena for her first driving lesson. When she arrived at the Arena, they were already there.

"We can fetch you a test subject, if you like," Emma said, "So you can test it out properly."

Of course it was tempting, and Kasia thought about who would be best for that role, but she declined. "I wanna save them all for tomorrow. Besides, I've done enough cleaning today."

Soon the lesson was underway. Processing the Bitches had left Bob feeling incredibly horny, but enterprising as ever, he found a way to kill two birds with one stone, demonstrating the operation of the roller while Kasia sat in his lap, with his hard cock thrust deep into her grateful minge.

Once Kasia had felt the delights of the vibration modes, she found mastering the machine was a cinch, the powered controls were light, and it was pretty slow, so there was plenty of time to guide it where it needed to go. Then Bob and Emma left her to her own devices while they used a regular fork lift to bring in some boxes, crates, big plastic yellow pipes, ladders, several heavy concrete blocks, a yellow builder's skip, bundles of razor wire and other obstacles, as well a cage of tools, cables and accessories. Eventually everything was in place.

"I'm knackered," announced Bob. "We can finish the set-up tomorrow."

"Good," said Emma, "It's getting late. Let's see to the Bitches and get some sleep."

The trio arrived at the cells, with the freshly laundered clothes, and a trolley for the catering. First they checked in on Zoe.

She was already standing when they entered, a tall, young streak of pale flesh, topped with long, straggly black hair and a bad attitude. Poor diet and bad lifestyle choices had yet to catch up with her, and her body retained it's lithe girly attractiveness. All in all she was definitely fuckable, with pert, modest tits, a nice ass, and slim legs.

Nakedness had stripped her of her usual arrogance, and she was uncharacteristically silent. Despite the age difference, Kasia thought she could best her in a fight. The thought of that made her angry and horny, and she needed to get a grip on herself to avoid revealing her hot-headedness.

Zoe seemed appreciative of the meal, although of course she didn't bother thanking anyone for it. Kasia threw her clothes back at her and informed her of the upcoming event. "We're holding a tournament tomorrow, and you can wear your party clothes. We expect you to look your best. You're the boss of these girls, so you should figure out a way to win easily. Then you'll be my slave. You know what the alternative is."

With that, the trio left, and went next door to Georgie's cell. She had put on weight since Kasia's encounter with her a year earlier, particularly around her bust and substantial ass. She looked thicc, hot and sassy. Her formidable physique was matched by a bad attitude, framed by a bob haircut and fresh, fleshy face. "You gonna fuckin' die girl," she said, glowering at Kasia, and sounded like she meant it. "You ain't gonna beat me."

Kasia laughed at her bravado, "You could beat me in a fight easily Georgie, just by sitting on me. If you win tomorrow, you might get your chance. Otherwise, I'll leave you for Emma and her axe collection. Anyway, you should beat the others no problem, then you'll be my bitch."

Next up was Megan. Kasia felt a particular animus towards her. More than just a bully. she was an evil, manipulative, weaselly little redhead who would do anything to further her own interest, and used the gang purely as a means to do that. She was political, and would say anything to destroy reputations, then hide from the consequences behind the protection of the group. Petite, she had a homely softness from sitting in front of a computer too long. Squishy thought Kasia. Every angle and bone of her body was softened by a layer of puppy fat, although she wasn't overweight at all. Bob thought her body deserved a good pounding, in more than one sense. She sat on the bed with a nasty little smirk on her face that immediately enraged Kasia.

Kasia flew at her and started punching her. "Tomorrow you die!" she yelled, over and over. Megan tried to defend herself, but wasn't used to fighting, normally leaving that stuff to Georgie. The girls rolled off the bed, and onto the floor. Bob and Emma watched for a minute, enjoying the show, then pulled them apart. Kasia grinned at her bruised, bloody face. "You won't win tomorrow, Megan. I'll make sure," she said. "Get dressed."

It was time to check in on the three sisters.

Christi, the twelve year old, and Amy who was just eight, were sitting close together on the bed. The trio could hear Lauren in the toilet cubical. "She's not feeling very well," Christi explained.

The older girl soon emerged, looking ashen. She was very tall, blond, with nicely defined angular features. Her body would best be described as voluptuous, with the proportions of a supermodel, lovely full breasts, narrow waist, and one of those 'inverted-heart' shaped asses. She had clearly taken time with her personal grooming too, with a tidy blonde Brazilian leading down to tasty looking wiggly folds of flesh below.

"I like tall girls," Emma said, as she looked Lauren up and down, "they take longer to die."

Bob looked at his wife doubtfully. "Really?"

"Well, if you start at the toes…"

"You better be feeling better tomorrow," Kasia advised Lauren, "Or it's going to slow you down. Personally, I'd like you to win. You are the cutest after all. You'll be competing against the others for your life, but of course, we'll have a big say in who succeeds and fails."

"What about the girls?" Lauren said weakly, gesturing to the twins.

Emma spoke up. "Oh, I don't think they stand much chance to be honest. And I think they're a bit young to keep as slaves anyway. But we'll have a lot of fun with them before the end, I'm sure."

"What's the competition tomorrow?" asked Christi. She was the tallest girl in her class, and had one side of her head shaved and dyed blue. Puberty had just started transforming her girly frame, adding little tufts of hair around her pussy, and making her nipples puff up, as if they were already looking for action. She had been the only one to actually ask what the event was.

"Well, my little freak," said Bob, wondering what the hell her parents must have been thinking allowing that hairstyle, "There's a big obstacle course. It'll be like hide and seek. There's a big prize for the winner, and you and Amy can play too. You'll have to run and hide, and if you get caught, it's game over.

In contrast to her sisters, Amy was quite tiny, but very cute, with an amazing little pudgy ass that reminded Bob of pudding for some reason. Bob thought she would make an ideal cock sleeve, but he said nothing. He didn't want to upset them just yet. "That sounds like fun!" she said, swaying her butt provocatively, "I love games like that."

"Yeah," laughed Kasia, sizing up her little limbs for removal, "loads of fun."

"Look, maybe we can come to an arrangement," Lauren said. She was used to 'making arrangements' with men, and few could resist.

"You've nothing to give me that I can't already take," Bob said. "In fact, I might just take you now. Or your sisters." He turned to Kasia, "What do you think, how about another sleep-over?"

"It would be kinda fun I guess. But after last time…"

"We could stay over with you, for security."

Emma cut in, "You can Bob, but I'm shattered. I'm going back to my own bed to sleep tonight. For sure there'll be time for plenty of fun tomorrow."

So Emma headed back to the farmhouse, and amid Lauren's protests, Bob, Kasia, Christi and Amy went to Kasia's room.

"I'm scared," Amy said in a small voice as they walked.

"Don't be scared," reassured Bob, "after the competition tomorrow, we'll have finished with you, and you can go home."

"Where's Chloe?"

"Didn't you see?" asked Kasia.

Amy shook her head.

"Lauren said not to look," added Christi.

A wicked grin slowly spread over Kasia's face. She looked up at Bob. "Video night?"

It took a bit of re-assuring to get the two sisters to relax. Kasia made them cocoa, and Bob did his 'kind uncle' act. Then, while the three girls were snuggling together in bed, he pulled up the various recordings of Chloe's demise. There were a lot of angles, and some great ones from the underwater cameras that would be perfect to show the little ones exactly what became of Chloe. An hour later, he had made a rough compilation of the various video feeds, including some nice slow motion footage.

Meanwhile, Kasia had been playing naughty little games with the girls, helping them to explore themselves with fingers. It was all quite educational. Christi, led by Kasia's experience, was particularly enjoying herself.

Amy squealed a cute little yawn. "I'm sleepy," she declared.

"Let's watch a movie," Bob said, "Then we can sleep."

Bob climbed into bed, and lifted little Amy onto his lap.

Kasia and Christi giggled, as Kasia reached into a bedside drawer and pulled out a little vibrator made for two. Kasia showed it to her. "Do you think you're ready for this one?"

"You're really bad!" Christi admonished, but her eyes were eager. Soon Kasia was on top of her, and the two girls were moaning and panting as they fucked.

Amy looked at them curiously, not really understanding. But it still stirred something within her, and she started wriggling her cute naked rear against Bob's onesie. She looked up at Bob with a naughty grin. "What are those girls doing?" she demanded, like a bossy little princess.

"Just the same as us, having fun," Bob explained. "You wanna try something?"

Amy nodded. Bob unleashed his monster.

"Wow yours is really big!" Amy said, as Bob reached for some lube, "not like the boys in school."

Bob lifted her. She weighed nothing, just a cute little fleshlight for his dick, and she was easy to maneuver into place. He lowered her gently.

"Oww," she protested, "That hurts!"

Bob was trying to be as gentle as possible, but of course it was never going to be easy. She yelled a bit as he broke her seal too, but soon he was mostly inside her, and after a few calming words, she managed to relax again, sliding further onto his shaft.

Christi looked over at them, looking a little concerned, but then got distracted, as Kasia started thrusting harder, as she twirled those puffy little nipples around with her thumbs.

"It hurts, but it's kinda yummy," Amy said, and wriggled a little, as if testing herself.

Bob grunted. She was incredibly tight, and not really a good fit, but it was still a delight. There was something about the way she moved on him that was especially arousing. He had one arm around her waist, and gave a little squeeze as he pushed back into her.

"Ohh!" she cried, a mixture of pain and pleasure.

Bob grabbed the remote and hit 'play'. "Let's see what happened to Chloe."

Kasia and Christi turned their heads towards one of the many screens, but didn't allow it to interrupt their fun.

They all watched Chloe ride the water slide into the pool. Amy looked uncertainly at Chloe's missing hand, "Will she be okay?" Then, seeming to put it out of her mind, she said, "I love slides," , bouncing a little on Bob's dick.

The picture cut to an underwater shot. HD, super slow-motion of the propeller slicing through the water, turbulent vortices making waves of little bubbles dance in the shimmering light from above. Then, to one side of the screen, a foot made an appearance, slowly kicking, but being pulled towards the spinning blades.

"Oh no!" Amy said, then as the foot entered the disc of the blades, and was chopped to pieces, she froze in horror, clenching still tighter around Bob's manhood.

Bob laughed. It was an interesting experiment, for science, to see how the girls would react.

"Nooo!" Amy cried again, and tried to get her legs under her to lift away from Bob, nearly kicking him in the balls with her heel as she did so.

"Yes!" countered Bob, and pulled her back onto his hard cock.

Christi too, had suddenly decided she didn't want to play this game anymore, and tried to wriggle free from under Kasia. Failing to do so, she turned her head away from the screen, but Kasia soon grabbed her hair, forcing her to watch.

So the two horrified sisters looked on with tears in their eyes as the footage slowly unfolded of Chloe being slowly turned into chunks, as Bob and Kasia raped their terrified, wriggling bodies gleefully.

Then, as Chloe's torso fully met it's deathly embrace with the propeller, and guts were liberated, and wrapped around the blades before being sliced apart into a crimson sea, Bob grabbed Amy hard, squishing her middle and slamming her down onto his spurting shaft, as she sobbed uncontrollably.

Kasia delighted in Christi's heaving, quivering body below her too, and soon shuddered to a girly orgasm of her own, before turning to Bob with a big grin. "I always love video night!"


Oh holy hell! I wish I had a clever quip but I'm busy cleaning up after reading that last chapter…


Well I'm glad you're um … satisfied (now go and wash your hands), it was quite tricky arranging for your characters to get the special treatment they deserved.

Of course there's more to come…


Oy Danke Y gracias
I scrubbed my keyboard and screen clean and am eagerly awaiting the next time I will befoul it…


Well, you don't have to wait. Just read chapter 3. again like you usually do.


A loud wet, cracking crunch reverberated through across the factory floor. Maisie's face contorted into a bizarre puzzled expression, with her tongue forced out, then ceased to look human at all as her eyeballs popped out of her skull, and bloody snot and cerebral matter shot from her nose.


I should have quoted the above and attributed the it to you… Sorry


I re-read that chapter often… :)


Just a wild guess lol.

Hey, did I write that? It's pretty good for a writer with less than two weeks experience!

Okay, "through across" doesn't make any sense. Are you trying to shame me by highlighting my typos?


It's damn good and damn hot! I love the eyeballs popping out…

If that's your first story… wow! I can't wait to see your next attempt.

I didn't notice the typo until you pointed it out…



It's still one of my favourite chapters too. I just thought, "what the hell," and let all my darkest fantasies out in that one, right at the beginning of the story.

And I really like the Masher. I think it deserves some more use, if I can find a way to do it without being too repetitive. I think it's the only machine to have already been used twice so far. I so wanted Kasia to die horribly in there, but also wanted to keep her alive for the plot, so did the dream thing with her in chapter 4. I did have an actual death lined up for her too, where Emma says Kasia can stay if she can stay alive in the Masher for longer than she can, and Kasia doesn't quite manage it (of course Emma set things up to be unfair)…

I'm such a softy sometimes, letting cute squishy-crunchy girls off the hook.


Yes, I've never done any creative writing at all before this. In fact I was convinced that I had no aptitude for it whatsoever. Imagine my shock when I discovered that I could actually write fairly adequately, and that others liked it too… It's just like I say at the beginning, I just sat down, and four days later I had 20,000 words, and I'm like WTF! And then I read it, and thought, "shit, this seems pretty good to me, maybe I'll put it online and see what others think."

I must have read that line a dozen times, and I didn't notice it either, until just now. I think your brain filters stuff like that out, which is annoying when you're trying to proof read.


I have grown to like Kasia and her sadistic nature… but if she was to come to some horrible demise that she actually wanted, then well…
I'm a big fan of the squishing death… lots of eyeballs popping and brains spurting out… yummy stuff!


I'm pretty impressed at your first try… the narrative flows nicely and almost zero typos…
I'm loving your story and I hope you keep going with it!


>If that's your first story… wow! I can't wait to see your next attempt.

I've got a few ideas… I think the main difference will be that it will have an actual plot, rather than just be a contrivance for splattering a succession of cuties, because that was all this story was supposed to be. And hopefully it'll be a little more polished and consistent.

I'm unsure whether to do a direct sequel to this one. I've still got plenty of ideas, but I could save those for another story that is better structured I think. Maybe Bob and Emma move to an island paradise, and continue their little enterprise on a larger scale…

Or Maybe a future dystopia, where the tyrant calls for a regular culling of the towns women…


>Maybe Bob and Emma move to an island paradise, and continue their little enterprise on a larger scale…

That sound promising… Torture island or something?

>Or Maybe a future dystopia, where the tyrant calls for a regular culling of the towns women…

That's been kind of overdone… Not to say that you couldn't put a fresh spin on it but it would be hard…


So you keep saying! I don't really want to make all the deaths by squishing, even though it's my favourite too.

But anything could happen, because I don't even know myself. We'll just have to wait and see who makes it to the end of the story…


Squishing and smashing is nice but so is chopping and gutting. Hanging, especially long drop that results in decapitation is nice.



>That sound promising… Torture island or something?

Yes. Or they could just stay where they are, and I develop things in a more interesting way. Maybe (as some have suggested) they take on contracts, or sell premium video feeds, or auction off deaths. Maybe they could accept volunteers to be snuffed. Maybe Bob digs out more hillside and makes a bigger Arena for events. I've got some nice ideas that need more space, hence the island idea. There's a lot of possibilities like that, but TBH, I don't want the plot to start interfering with the splatter. I think the plot should be just enough to create some tension and excitement, to make the reader actually care about the rapey torture / splatter / deaths more.

>That's been kind of overdone… Not to say that you couldn't put a fresh spin on it but it would be hard…

Actually, I totally agree. I'm just throwing ideas around at the moment. But it does have the advantage of not needing much explanation (the advantage of stereotypes). But I'll probably stay in the universe I have now TBH.


I do have ideas for hangings, guttings and other nice deaths, but keep getting distracted lol.

Also hangings are done to death (if you excuse the pun), which is partly why it hasn't happened. Same with shootings, and decap by guillotine. They're completely over used. I kind of see those as 'normie' deaths, whereas I like something a bit more original, slower, and more splattery. But I'm sure one day some of those things will happen. I'm pretty sure I could write a good hanging scene.


> I don't want the plot to start interfering with the splatter. I think the plot should be just enough to create some tension and excitement, to make the reader actually care about the rapey torture / splatter / deaths more.

Agreed… Otherwise you risk going into tl;dr territory. The island idea could work though… more room for machines. The volunteer idea is cool too


One thing I like about the current 'universe' is that it's quite plausible, and doesn't require much suspension of disbelief from the reader (or from me, for that matter!) I want to retain that, and not go to overboard with things.

OTOH, the splatter should take priority, and more /bigger machines is good.

The TL;DR thing is a very good point. I find myself reading others' stories, and skipping ahead to the action. Of course, that's my bias, probably others like the story, but that's not really what I'm about. If people are skipping parts of my story, I think I'm doing something wrong. Hopefully they're not (if you are, please say!) I try to keep even the "boring" parts fairly exciting by foreshadowing, teasing, hinting, putting images in the readers' minds etc.


I do like the Plausibility of your stories… I could see, with the right resources, building these machines and building the dungeon. Not a sci-fi or fantasy thing.

I also tend to skim the long stories to find the action… that's what I'm here for.

If I want a story I'll buy a book.


I made another poll, this time about reading habits:

"When reading this story, do you skip over the boring parts to reach the action?"


Your style is perfect… manageable sized chapters each with good action. If I had to read all 15 chapters to get the pay-off I'd have been gone a long time ago.


Yeah, I try to put some action in every chapter. Like the last one (ch. 15) is what I call a bridging chapter. Nothing essential really happens, except the new machines are introduced, and the Bitches are described a bit more. It could have been a bit boring (Well, it's supposed to be building tension for the next chapter, so hopefully it's not too bad) But I put some action at the end, for fapping purposes, and also partly to do justice to your character descriptions… that was a bit tricky, because I had to contrive a way for them to be 'happy' in the way you described, in the face of the horror going on around them. I think I just about pulled it off though.


#15 was pretty hot… Horny little girls getting off and then anticipating their demise…


Imagine this piece as a required reading books in schools


When I was a kid, We were made to watch safety videos at school.

One where a bunch of kids were visiting a farm on a school trip, all died in horrible ways, I can't remember all the deaths, but one drowned in a slurry pit. Funny that they never cancelled the trip though.

Another one was in a factory with poor safety practices, which ended in some guy falling onto a spinning metal shaft, and having his eyeball ripped out, blood dripping from a lighbulb. Completely graphic. For 14 year olds.

There were others too, about kids playing on railway lines and stuff.

This was before nanny state. They would just shock us into understanding the dangers.


The farm one I'm thinking of was probably this:

So it wasn't a school trip. But I was probably only 11 when I saw it.

[Return][Go to top] [Catalog] [Post a Reply]
Delete Post [ ]