Gurochan isn't exactly Word when it comes to formatting options, but you've got a lot of basic tools at your disposal to make your story not a pain to read.
Each new paragraph should be on a new line with a blank space in between.
It might look like you have a lot of blank space at first, but it's much easier to read in the long run. This helps mitigate walls of text.
You're writing a story, presumably with characters, who presumably speak at some point. Every time a different character speaks, their dialogue gets its own paragraph. Again, it looks like it leaves a lot of space, but it's easy to read (and professional).
Use quotation marks for dialogue, not hyphens, and certainly not nothing at all. You need something in there to differentiate dialogue from narration.
I think I need a hug, said Maya. No worries, said Steve. I've heard the oven has a nice, warm embrace.
Incorrect, but better than the previous example:
"I think I need a hug," said Maya. "No worries," said Steve. "I've heard the oven has a nice, warm embrace."
Incorrect, but better than the previous example:
- I think I need a hug.
- No worries. I've heard the oven has a nice, warm embrace.
"I think I need a hug," said Maya.
"No worries," said Steve. "I've heard the oven has a nice, warm embrace."
"I think I need a hug."
"No worries. I've heard the oven has a nice, warm embrace."
Tags and Titles
Let potential readers know what to expect from your story before they dive into it. If accurate tags would potentially spoil the story, at least tag the big ones (/g/, /f/, /s/, /fur/, maybe loli/shota). If you'd rather not deal with tags, at least make your title descriptive (e.g. Ruki at the Snuff Club). Tags are especially helpful in stories with less indicative titles.
Note that titles not indicating the included fetishes are not bad titles. Titles are merely supposed to summarize the story, or symbolize the theme, etc. It's not like "Hunger Games" would have been better titled "Teenagers Murdering Each Other for Rich People's Entertainment," is it?
A general rule of thumb is that if you get lost while rereading your own story, so will your readers. Check your formatting and grammar; make sure it's not painful to read.
Feel free to add, criticize, comment, etc.
Excellent advice, thank you
How do you create those centered bold headers? Is there a new markup formatter baked into this website?
Yes, there is some formatting built in. I believe there's more about it in a /dis/ thread, but the rundown:
Surround text with two equals signs (=) on either side to get a title. Do likewise with three equals signs for a subtitle.
Titles are supposed to be for story titles. Subtitles are for chapter names or section breaks.
Considering story tags I think most important is to describe its mood and unfortunately this is information newer available
Probably most important tad would be if it is consensual or not.
and something that briefly list story content
It is not that much important it it is furry or not, you will imagine characters in away you like yourself anyway
another thing I find irritating, is very long character names: something like "Sailor moon" gets pretty irritating after you read it 90th time
they should be shorter or replaced with nicknames
I am also thinking how to format dialogue properly expecialy if there are lots of characters talking
A- I think I need a hug.
B- No worries. I've heard the oven has a nice, warm embrace.
C- You idiots!
But that type of labeling also interferes with reading experience because you so read those labels
so using unreadable symbols may be better idea
#- I think I need a hug.
@- No worries. I've heard the oven has a nice, warm embrace.
$- You idiots!
Or maybe this way is even better
- I think I need a hug.
-- No worries. I've heard the oven has a nice, warm embrace.
--- You idiots!
if there are only 2 characters
Speech of one of the characters should always begin with blank like
and paragraphs could be separated with two blank lines
I disagree about use of quotes, because quotes are typically reserved for quoting or saying what you do not think (typically to express sarcasm)
valid use of quotes in dialogue would be if you write something like :
I heard Jenny saying "you are a loser" said Sally
We all think you are "great cook" but please don't burn it next time
direct dialogue is not quoting unless story is written in a way where narrator is telling the story instead of story is happening by itself and thus narrator is quoting story characters.
>I disagree about use of quotes, because quotes are typically reserved for quoting or saying what you do not think (typically to express sarcasm)
Character dialogue is nothing but direct quotes. Your line of thinking is correct when applied to narration or everyday typing (for example, our interactions here in this thread). Almost all published books utilize quotes for dialogue.
For example (click the book cover on the left and scroll to chapter 1; it starts right off with dialogue):http://www.amazon.com/Game-Thrones-Song-Fire-Book-ebook/dp/B000QCS8TW/
>Probably most important tad would be if it is consensual or not.
This is true. As someone who likes both cons and non-cons, I tend to forget a lot of people only like it one way. Thank you for mentioning that.
I generally find it easier to just put in the paragraph breaks when I post the story. Just expand the posting window, and it's not too bad.
As for dialog syntax, I dislike using sentences like this one.
Jenny said, "Fuck me baby."
The quotes already indicate speech. As long as I imply that this paragraph is about Jenny, I can get in some description with my quote.
Jenny was really getting into it. "Fuck me baby."
I proof read my stuff several times before I post it, but I still miss things. Oh well, I try.
> But that type of labeling also interferes with reading experience because you so read those labels so using unreadable symbols may be better idea
It's probably not for me to talk about right ways to write as I've written a whole rather large comment on why I don't use English punctuation right (but I'm trying to improve now), but it reminded me of a person who proposed to encode every letter as a color and use colored boxes instead of letters cause human brain recognizes colors faster than symbols, so presumably reading colors would be quicker once you've learned it... well, that's an interesting theory to explore, but don't make such experiments on us simple readers who want to just enjoy a nice story and not to learn to read again.
>>1373>Character dialogue is nothing but direct quotes. Your line of thinking is correct when applied to narration or everyday typing (for example, our interactions here in this thread). Almost all published books utilize quotes for dialogue.
Not necessary so: this is not some world wide standard. you can use different kind of formatting
for example herehttp://drewseslfluencylessons.com/2-advanced/job-interview/script-for-job-interview-cohttp://www.professional-resume-example.com/common-job-interview-script.htmlnversation-in-english/
typically quotes are good when you want to interleave narration with dialogue
but when there is just dialogue, with no narration there is no need to put quotes on every line, hyphens look better and easier to read.
I think quotes give impression that story is happening in the past while hypends give impression that it is going now.
In fiction, while writing in English, dialogue is marked by quotation marks.
For other languages, or for other formats, this may be different.
But in English, dialogue is marked by quotation marks.
Using something else is much the same as ending every sentence with a pound symbol rather than a full stop, or using the letter A in place of the letter E.
It is not a matter of style or preference. It is a matter of correct punctuation. Doing otherwise is incorrect, in an absolute sense of the word.
The quotes are, admittedly, an English language standard.
Also admittedly, other languages have other standards.
Yes, the standards can be mixed, but that's the reason I don't read ....Joyce? Sounds about right, anyway. James Joyce is a famous dead author, who in at least one of his stories used hyphens to open dialogue.
However, he kept his dialogue and description on separate lines. He used paragraphs. >>1394>I think quotes give impression that story is happening in the past while hypends give impression that it is going now.
I've never seen it that way, and I doubt I ever will.
Past tense (Had, Gave, Drove, Paid, ect.) tells you that it's already happened. It's also the most common tense used in fiction. Present tense (Have, Gives, Pays, ect.) is stuff happening right now. It's not nearly as common, used mostly in dialogue. Future tense is a lot more tricky, is very rarely used outside of small bits of dialogue, but when used right can be an excellent framing device. Also, in the English language, we have no specific verb forms for future tense. It's usually "Will" + "Present tense verb". Kinda odd now that I think of it.
Other languages may use punctuation differently, and may indeed use the Latin alphabet differently. I don't oppose that.
I don't view it as a defence if the story's being written in English, though.
Since this is international page there is no need to stick to standards of some specific english dialect and specific rules invented by specific people.
dialogue punctuation is not standardized and can be done in different ways and there is no need to stick to some single style. some styles are more popular some are less but it can be done in any way you like to reflect the mood you want to express and you can see that it is very common practice.
if you look over internet you can see various methods in use.
You are just proposing everyone to use what is most popular.
But this it is not some school when you have to stick to the rules, when you are author of story you invent the rules you can even invent your own grammar if you like.
Everything you write has some meaning, even if you write something wrong this is not really wrong, but serves certain purpose to provide different experience for the reader and to express your way of thinking.
stories are not written in "english" they are written in language of author.>>1397>Yes, the standards can be mixed, but that's the reason I don't read ....Joyce? Sounds about right, anyway. >James Joyce is a famous dead author, who in at least one of his stories used hyphens to open dialogue.
of course you shouldn't just replace quotes with hyphens
if you use different style you have to change everything accordingly.
it is something like computer programming language which you have to make it easy to understand.
Just think, if you decide to separate each line of dialogue do you really think it is good idea to use quotes just to frame each line? This excessive punctuation does not make much sense.
in that situation you are presenting dialogue like some forum thread
-- one statement
--reply to that statement
-- another statement
>Past tense (Had, Gave, Drove, Paid, ect.) tells you that it's already happened.
there is significant difference between immediate past tense and retelling something what happened some time ago.
because if you say
"Hello" said jenny
it is different from
Jenny said "Hello"
first sentence is probably happening in present and second is definitely happening in past
also you can shift from one to another any time in your story if you need to make it more intense or calm down
You posted: "Since this is international page there is no need to stick to standards of some specific english dialect and specific rules invented by specific people."
No. English, the language I am writing in right now, and the language you are also using, has rules.
Ignore them if you choose, but remember that it's the same as ignoring spelling.
Feel free to use a different language, but don't disrespect this one.
You posted: "dialogue punctuation is not standardized and can be done in different ways and there is no need to stick to some single style. some styles are more popular some are less but it can be done in any way you like to reflect the mood you want to express and you can see that it is very common practice."
No. You are factually incorrect. There is a set standard style of punctuation.
Additionally, you are failing to use it.
"if you look over internet you can see various methods in use.
You are just proposing everyone to use what is most popular."
No. I am explaining that English uses rules. Words are spelled with certain letters, written in certain orders, and punctuated in a certain fashion.
This is not a personal choice. If you don't use punctuation right, you are not being artistic or original. You are failing to write properly.
You posted: "But this it is not some school when you have to stick to the rules, when you are author of story you invent the rules you can even invent your own grammar if you like.
Everything you write has some meaning, even if you write something wrong this is not really wrong, but serves certain purpose to provide different experience for the reader and to express your way of thinking."
While certain options of style are the author's choice, writing properly is not one.
If I see a story that doesn't use proper punctuation, I won't read it. Much the same as one that uses poor spelling, I simply will not bother with it.
What meaning would such a work have then? None to me.
You posted: "stories are not written in "english" they are written in language of author."
Incorrect, and laughably so. The language used is a language. It may be English or German or Russian, or even Chinese. Regardless, it's still bound by the rules of the language.
If an author expects their readers to know that "Yaman" means "Lemon", they'd best justify it. If they decide not to use full stops, they can't write properly.
If they forget to capitalize the first letter in each sentence, they need to relearn English.
You may consider such things artistic, but that's about as valid as a builder defending a house without a roof by saying that it gives a good view of the sky.
You posted: "
there is significant difference between immediate past tense and retelling something what happened some time ago.
because if you say
"Hello" said jenny
it is different from
Jenny said "Hello"
first sentence is probably happening in present and second is definitely happening in past"
No. That's not the case.
Firstly, Always capitalize names. That's basic, how could you possibly forget that?
Secondly, both sentences are in past tense. To change ether into present, "said" should be "says".
That's also basic.
"also you can shift from one to another any time in your story if you need to make it more intense or calm down"
. Absolutely not, and never.
Never, ever switch tenses partway through a story, you lazy punk
That's the linguistic equivalent of saying that if you run out of wine, you should serve your guest piss instead.
Don't call yourself a writer if this is your standard.
I'd just like to point out that Cormac McCarthy didn't use quotation marks when he wrote "No Country For Old Men".
I'd just like to point out that Cormac McCarthy did not make use of quotation marks when he wrote "No Country For Old Men".
The rules for English can be twisted around for stylistic purposes.
Actually, it reads more like the narrator is the one speaking.
There's a difference between "He said this, she said that." and "This," he said, "That." she replied.
That, is one of the differences between first and third person.
No Country For Old Men is (apparently, I couldn't get through the writing style to finish the book) written completely in first person. "I" is used a lot, especially in that first chapter.
Also, the author is a professional. He's mastered the essential basics, NOW he can play with the rules for stylistic purposes.
Another thing (although it really hasn't been an issue here) is the use of first, second, and third person.
First person is I. I am telling you what I see.
Second person is You. You are doing this. (Rarely used well, I for one have issues with being told what I'm doing in a story)
Third person is They. Basically. This person saw that. That person is doing this.
There are two types of third person writing- the first is where the story follows one person, and the readers are only told what that person knows or finds out. The other is Third Person Omniscient- The readers get to see most sides of the story.
You'd be better off referencing Shakespeare, who made up words.
Still not a justification, because most writers are not Shakespeare nor MaCarthy.
As Nonnie said, you have to learn the rules before you can break them. Even then, you better have a damn good reason for it.
Johnny Got His Gun (the book behind Metallica's "One") foregoes much punctuation because the information in the story is supposed to come at you like a torrent, representing Johnny's rapid, frightened thoughts, and giving you little chance to recover. It's one of the saddest books in the English language, and probably one of the best anti-war arguments I've ever seen.
The author knew his stuff, though. I couldn't decide to write a horrific post-war story and fuck the rules the same way he did, nor could I expect the same result.
It's worth noting that you can change dialogue styles within a story if you have a good reason to. If your characters IM each other with Skype or something, or send each other text messages, then you should switch to a format more indicative of the medium through which they're communicating. Switch back when they start speaking, though.
Voice comms like Teamspeak would get ordinary dialogue tags, since the characters are merely speaking to each other, just not in person. Phone conversations are the same way.
Bumping this so it stays near the top.
Read and use this people!
From what I understand from the 'writing can be changed around however you want for art value' team on here, I could write a story using totally incorrect spelling, completely made up words, possibly throw in a few wingdings for punctuation in the middle of a word, and you all would be able to understand what I'm saying completely since there is no wrong way to write.
Reminds me of several of the stories I've read on here. Completely incomprehensible terms, impossible to follow dialogue since you can't tell where the dialogue stops and the sentence itself resumes, run on sentences that rival marathon track runners for distance... pure literary gold that was!
I think I'll stick with the horrible English school standards of writing, thank you. At least then I can tell what's going on.
Props to the OP though. Great write up!
Sometimes, you have to make up a word- Generally it'll be names for things.
Works set in the future, or a fantasy world, can have things that don't exist in the real world, and they need names. Sometimes you can just have the "Fuckhertodeath 5000", but sometimes you need the "Allhegany Cross".
Just don't throw too much at the readers at one time.
As an interesting note, if copy/pasting from another program, add in an extra space between paragraphs.
The spaces you see in the program will not make it through the copy/paste.
You said everything I was thinking as I read through that post. Bravo.>>1401
Yeah, write something like that I'd I'll read maybe half a page of it, then throw it in the trash where it belongs.
Figured it's better to just append this thread before making a new one, so here's some stuff on grammar and style.
Passive vs. Active Voice
Passive: Jen was killed by Jon.
Active: Jon killed Jen.
Passive is boring. Avoid it. Use active voice anywhere that doesn't explicitly require passive voice to make sense.
Rule of thumb: if you can finish the sentence with ". . . by aliens," then it's passive. "OBJECT was VERB by SUBJECT" is the most common passive structure.
Jon was paralyzed by fear. Jon was paralyzed by aliens.
Jen was eaten by Jon. Jen was eaten by aliens.
This sentence is five words. This, too, is five words. It's kinda boring like this. The rhythm is too bland. Are you getting bored yet?
Fuck that. Let your sentence lengths vary. Use rhythm. Engage your reader with pretty language and poetic elements. Don't be afraid of long, drawn-out sentences as long as you avoid run-ons. Likewise, don't fear short sentences. You can have one sentence with 10 words, another with 3, another with 6, and maybe one with 15. Variance is key.
Short sentences excel in action sequences.
Long sentences, such as this one, read more quickly than the preceding shorter sentence, but pack less of that staccato punch; you can use them anywhere, but they won't be as engaging as short sentences during action scenes.
Break up your paragraphs. If your story is 1000 words long, but consists of only two paragraphs of 500 words each, nobody will take the time to read it, because it's a wall of text. If you find yourself skimming your own story, so will your readers.
A paragraph is usually three to five sentences long. Sometimes they're shorter. One line of dialogue, for example, is frequently a whole paragraph.
Shocking reveals or climactic moments can also get their own paragraphs--for example: "And their father watched them die."
"This gets its own paragraph," said Andrew.
Apparently it's not common knowledge, because there are several stories--even published--where characters speak in the middle of a paragraph. "But this makes sense to me," said an author. This author was wrong. Stuffing dialogue in the middle of a paragraph of exposition is generally bad practice. There are exceptions, such as when a character is speaking, and quotes somebody else, as if telling a story. For example:
"So when I got back from the supermarket, Jen says to me, 'Jon, the hell is wrong with your pants?' And I says to her, 'I got no clue, why aren't you in the oven?' So I stuck her in the oven."
Past, Present, and Future
This sentence is in present-tense. Most non-story posts on /lit/ are in present-tense, for that matter. People generally speak in present-tense. Teachers teach in present tense, too (barring the usual "you'll want to know this for the test," which is future-tense). "Is" is a common indicator of present-tense, just as "was" is for past-tense, and "will" is for future-tense.
Most novels are written in past-tense, no matter the language. "He said" and "she said" are both in past-tense.
Most roleplaying is done in present-tense. "He says" and "she says" are both in present-tense.
I see a lot of roleplayers mix up the two when they transition to novels, and though I don't roleplay myself, I suspect fiction writers have a hard time adjusting to present-tense.
Future-tense is rarely used outside of dialogue. "I will" and "I am going to" are usually how future-tense sentences begin in English, similar to Spanish's "Voy a".
Writing Like an Adult
"Josh kicked the ball. The goalie missed! The ball went into the goal. Josh's teammates were happy because they won the game."
"Josh swept his foot at the ball, and connected with a satisfying crack--straight on the laces, just a little bit of lift. Two defenders slid for it, kicking up dirt and grass. The ball sailed over their outstretched feet. It grazed one's shin guard and changed course. The goalkeeper cursed, stumbled, and tried to dive the other way.
The ball swished into the back of the net. The annoying blast of an air horn marked both the last-second goal and the end of the game. Josh heard his teammates cheering behind him."
That first passage is the ending from a book I wrote when I was 9. The second passage is something I whipped up more than a decade later. Odds are, you can tell which was written by a child and which was written by an adult. Children are usually very blunt. A classmate of mine, for the same assignment, wrote a story about an ogre and a princess (Shrek was new back then) almost entirely in passive voice, forsaking detail for advancement of the story.
Often, my classmates and I would follow the teacher's rubric to the letter. Introduction, goal, complications, climax, resolution. Our stories rarely surpassed 50 words, because we could introduce several characters within a couple short sentences, and paraphrase the story in our minds into a single paragraph.
"There was a man named Ken. Ken had blond hair. Ken was sad because his dog was lost. His dog was a golden retriever. He looked for his dog, but there was a storm. He put on a raincoat. He battled the storm until it went away. Then he found his dog, and they were happy to see each other. The end."
The story of Ken searching for his dog in the middle of a storm could be a riveting man-versus-nature epic in the right hands. Yet because an 8-year-old wrote it, it looks more like clumsy synopsis of such a story--written by an 8-year-old.
Point is, write with detail. Show your readers what happened--don't tell them the gist of it. Introduce Ken and describe him through his actions instead of saying he had blond hair and was named Ken. Give the readers some flashbacks to show why his dog is so important that he can't just wait out the storm. "Battled the storm" could mean anything, so show the readers what it actually means. Does Ken fight the storm with his lightning powers? Or does he push through it, fighting against hypothermia and zero visibility?
Of course, most of the writers here are writing snuff porn, but most of this still applies. Write details, not paraphrasing. Describe the glistening streams of blood coming from your protagonist's severed head, instead of just saying, "He chopped her head off. The end." Describe what her brain looks like when the villains are eating it. Describe the taste, the texture. If you're doing scat, you'd better bet you should describe the smell. Guro in general is a genre that requires detail, because that's what your readers will be getting off on.
I'm still very new to writing erotica, Queenslayer being my second attempt, so I'm not too qualified to talk about that yet. One I know my way around the genre, I'll write a guide for it. But as of right now, you're better off asking someone with more experience under their proverbial belt. All I can tell you is that your erotica shouldn't read like a child wrote it, or it'll be hard to enjoy, much less get off to.
Your and you're:
Your dog is on fire (possessive). You're eating my food (you are). "You are dog is on fire," makes no sense. Use what makes sense to determine what you should use.
Their, they're, and there:
Their dog is on fire (possessive). They're eating my food (they are). You can find a fire extinguisher over there (a place).
I and i:
I on its own is always capitalized. Think of it like a name. You always capitalize names.
That's all for now.
One thing about detail- More is always better, but there is a line.
Generally, in modern lit, it comes to describing clothing. If it takes you more than three solid paragraphs to describe a dress, you've probably put too much detail in.
Spreading the description out over multiple paragraphs, along with action and dialogue is ok.
Paragraph 1 - dress only
Paragraph 2 - dress only
Paragraph 3 - dress only
Paragraph 1 - Lulu appeared in a beautiful gown. ("Oh, Lulu, the lace is gorgeous!")
Paragraph 2 - "Green is such a bold statement for the season, what do you think, does Lulu pull it off?"
Paragraph 4 - "Oh, my goodness, those are real emeralds! However could you afford them all?"
Paragraph 7 - The heavy gown made it a bit difficult for Lulu's kidnapper to drag her unconscious body away.
Paragraph 9 - Lulu's blood seeped into the deep emerald silk, staining it almost black.
There is no real best way to do this, however. It changes with every story. If you want to move a scene set at a very boring ball, you can have people gossip about the clothing worn by others, thus slowly giving a lot of detail and varying opinions, until you've shown however much time needed to pass for your next section.
However, if you're describing an old weather-worn hermit, you'd only need a fairly bare-bones description of the man's clothing, and be done with it.
Just remember, you never run out of time to describe someone, so take your time to pass it to us.
*third chapter after meeting character Bob*
"Hey, Bob, something's been bothering me. Are all of those straps and belts and ribbons REALLY necessary?"
"You would be surprised how often I ended up needing belt-like objects and not having enough before I started wearing them all. I'll admit, I haven't needed to dip into the ribbons to cover the lack, yet, but giving little girls ribbons for their hair is good for cheering them up. ...And it's a really subtle way of making them go away without angering too many people."
"I take it you don't like little girls."
"I do, actually, but only in carefully measured doses, Phil."
Boom, a bit more description, and added characterization!
Is there some documentation for how to format text in this board? I've seen italics, bold headers, and horizontal breaks, but it would be nice to know exactly how to generate those.
Test post please ignore
Today I learned that posts made via the Tor browser can't be deleted due to the privacy stuff that it does, which apparently clears that little auto-generated password. So could someone please remove this and the previous post for me? Thanks ^^;
I didn't realize this until recently, but there's a short list of markup options under the FAQ tab. Bold and italics and such are included.
Two reasons for this post:
1. I wanted to see what these did exactly
2. Provide an example for others who want the same
You can find how to do these on the FAQ page
Does anyone know if theres other text modifiers? Like underlining, or strike throughs? And can you stack bold and italics?
I can't seem to figure it out, but I thnk 40 of these " - " can make a thick enough separation line, and not leave any "-" after.
Someone please teach me how to properly use that...
>Note that titles not indicating the included fetishes are not bad titles.
Hmmh, yes they are. Some people have fetishes that they dislike. For example, I really don't like reading a story from a prey/sub perspective.
So please, tag!
Or at the very least people should list the tags at the beginning of the story, as they often don't fit in the title very well.
I think you guys (authors) should agree on the exact format of tags, and maybe a list of the most common ones. If the format is agreed upon and set in stone, then I'll make tags rendered distinctly from the title itself to stand out more.
And if there's an agreed-upon list of common tags so that different authors don't use different synonymous tags for the same thing, I could then hack up a search by tag feature.
So, should the list be exhaustive ?
Personally, I see the problem of having too many tags that go into way too specific stuff, but at the same time I think it might be necessary for some stories that have very specific kinks.
Would a 200 (arbitrary number that I think is big enough to encompass most fetishes) word search space be easily parsed?
What do you mean by "easily parsed"? Technically there's no issue be it 200 or 200,000. I don't think the list should be exhaustive, no. But there should be an informal agreement of sorts on the most common tags. I suggest /lit/ contributors get together in a separate thread in /dis/ to compile a list of canonical tags and their synonyms. Then, when you agree on it, I will use that list for automatic replacement of synonyms with canonical counterparts and add special parsing and decoration for thread subjects. This will be the first step toward introducing proper Web 2.0 tags to GUROchan.
How do you search here? Lookin for a yummy comic where mommy fucks and snuffs her lil girls like a good cunt should.
Not for nothing, but I also want to know how to search
There's no real search function here, all you have is people sometimes tagging stuff in the titles
apologies for the duplicate post, I didn't think it went through. Anyway here we go!
Nobles and Clones
A World of Decadence and Snuff
(snuff, casual, young, more to come)
The story will be written from the perspective of both Clones and Nobles. I don’t do scat or brainplay or babies, but feedback is GREATLY appreciated and I can probably work most requests into future chapters. I write when I get the time and when the muse strikes, but I plan to keep it going for a while. I have no interest in men, straight sex, or male victims, so if I include a male character, they will be in passing, or a platonic friend in almost all cases. The first entry will establish the world and goes into a lot more exposition. Future posts won’t be quite as long.
If being the Noble girl is an idea that appeals to you, PLEASE ask for my yahoo/skype. I really love the thought of playing the Clone. The first victim is very much modeled on myself. <3
It was the year 3000. Mankind had brought itself to the edge of extinction some centuries earlier, by way of nuclear war. In the wake of the devastation, most of the surviving population was left unable to produce offspring, with only a few hundred bloodlines left able to procreate. These families had inherited all of the wealth of planet Earth, and when the war had ended, they had made changes. Society was divided into two groups, aristocrats, those of the stable bloodlines, and slaves, those grown in cloning facilities to cater to the every whim and want of the nobles. Cloning had been perfected in the wake of the wars, it was cheap and easy, and with the cheapness of cloning came the cheapness of cloned life. Clones were grown of past celebrities or designed from scratch, on the whim of the creator. The nobles grew hundreds or thousands of slaves for each of them, then had to deal with overpopulation. The result was that clones were killed as a regular part of life.
Schools were established for the Clones, and those who proved themselves more intelligent could rise through the ranks and hold respectable positions, although they would always be subservient to even the lowest noble, but they comprised less than five percent at high school graduation. College graduates were perhaps ten percent of these. The staggering numbers of clones meant that every day at school, any infraction, any failing, would be answered with immediate termination, with their meat being used to feed the rest of the world. And that was just the ones who got to attend school, the majority of clones were created not by the communal government, but by slaughterhouses growing them only for their meat, or by individual families. These families would use them for food, entertainment, even love. It was the requirement of nobles to produce offspring, but they didn’t marry, they didn’t often commit to each other, children were raised by clones, and it was a cold society for the highest of the elite, living only to indulge every craving over a lifespan that with new science would last centuries. It was not uncommon for lower or younger nobles to take a clone as a short-term romantic interest, or for them to take some career, it was not needed by society, but a decade in any profession would provide a fun distraction for any noble who had grown bored. Such was the case for Luna.
‘Morning Luna!’ called Fred cheerfully. Luna smiled and waved back. The people at the termination facility were so friendly, that was, she decided, one of the best perks of the new society. All of the workers here were Nobles, not employees. They came to work here when it suited them, and as a result everyone was happy to be here and around each other. Walking away and doing something else meant nothing to them, and the result was a very pleasant and cheerful work environment…for them. The same could not be said for some of the Clones brought to the facility. This was a government facility, not enough girls failed in school to feed the remainder, and although the Nobles would kill a girl or two for food as needed (or for any other reason or whim), the rest of the Clones had to eat. This facility was the slaughterhouse to accompany a massive cloning facility, one of more than a dozen in this city alone, the cloners produced a huge number of Clones, and these slaughterhouses were equipped for Nobles to kill them however they pleased.
Luna patted the sliver of midriff she left exposed in this outfit while they waited for the first clones to arrive. She was, like everyone else in a society where cloning and cosmetic surgery had reached a level where it was art instead of science, objectively pretty. Tall, with large breasts, jet black hair and pale skin, she closely resembled the old Earth actress Kat Dennings. This was not an accident, even though she was not a clone, cosmetic science before and after birth allowed any Noble to look how they liked. Her parents had arranged before birth for her to have her remarkable figure, and Luna had had her facial structure tweaked to more closely resemble the woman she found so funny and engaging in old Earth videos. As Luna admired her body, she heard the beeping of trucks outside, the first group of Clones had arrived.
Meeting the Meat
Luna and the other Nobles smiled in anticipation as the doors opened and the Clones to be killed that day were ushered in. Ranging in physical appearance from 10 to 25 years old, the clones were all actually only a few weeks out of the growth tanks. Each was programmed with any knowledge that they might need in various duties, then as they were designed, computers randomly assigned each one a personality. As a result, not every Clone would have the same reaction to their circumstances. Some were scared of course, but others were bored, curious, or in a few cases excited or even highly aroused. Some of the Nobles held back, while the majority went over to the group of girls and started lining them up, rubbing, squeezing, kissing, and talking to the Clones. Most Nobles were perfectly happy just picking a few girls to play with and kill over the course of the day, selecting the ones who caught their eye. Of course, this was food production, the Nobles were outnumbered dozens to one by the Clone girls, any who didn’t get picked by the first group of Nobles would go to the second, those who wanted to work off anger or other bad emotions, those who wanted exercise, or those who just wanted to watch girls die, they would take the remaining Clones and simply massacre them.
Luna joined the first group, feeling up a few of the Clones. She only liked to take two or three per day, and she really enjoyed finding fun ‘playmates’. Her choices depended on her mood, but Luna had been feeling under the weather and wanted just one quiet cuddle buddy today. She moved into the group, greeting a few of the Clones, feeling some up and seeing how they reacted. She saw one who immediately drew her attention. The girl was a clone of the 21st century actress Ellen Page, five feet tall, small breasts, baby face…..and since it was Ellen, Luna couldn’t tell if she was supposed to be aged to 13 or 30. The small girl was standing at the very edge of the crowd, looking down and trying not to be noticed, even though she knew that it couldn’t possibly save her. Luna smiled fondly at the cute girl and adjusted her top as she started over. Clones were grown to be sexually and romantically attracted to any Noble, it might take a bit of effort to crack the shell of an especially shy or feisty one, but Ellen WOULD want her, even if Luna hadn’t been stunning. Luna’s smile grew, she had her prey, now came the fun bit.
She strolled over and rested a hand on the munchkin’s shoulder ‘hello honey. I’m Luna. Let me guess…they named you Ellen, right? Those cloners aren’t real creative naming girls.’ The tiny young lady looked at Luna, eyes wide with nervousness and open excitement ‘yes ma’am, I’m Ellen…..it’s nice to meet you ma’am’ Luna laughed ‘oh sweetheart, just call me Luna. Here, let’s sit on one of these couches.’ She pulled the girl into a gentle hug as they sat. ‘so we both know it’s not real, but tell me a bit about yourself? About the memories and such that they gave you, what makes you…you honey?’
Ellen took a moment to consider the question, subconsciously snuggling up closer to Luna, bringing her back in contact with the Noble’s large breasts. She hadn’t been thinking about the movement, but Luna couldn’t help noticing that Ellen’s nipples had visibly stiffened, poking against her thin t-shirt. Luna smirked, then her attention was drawn back when Ellen started talking ‘Well, the memories they gave me don’t really matter, but I like reading and snuggling, and…..’ the two chatted for a while, Ellen was as cute as she looked, she loved puppies and candy, and all things fluffy. She was afraid of death, but more than that she was afraid of not being loved. She wanted more than anything to feel loved and protected, even when she was being killed, and she wanted the people around her to be happy. Like most Clones, she was a pleaser at heart. Luna could work with that. She was going to watch Ellen die and she would enjoy it immensely, but Luna enjoyed forming bonds with the girls, Ellen would believe that Luna cared because the Noble would ACTUALLY care about her.
As they talked, Luna caught Ellen looking at her breasts several times, envious and a little hungry, Ellen wanted to play with those tits and she wore her heart on her sleeve about it. Luna pushed her chest forward a bit, in her hugs she made sure Ellen came in contact with them, she teased the kid while they talked. After about half an hour, Ellen could hardly contain herself, she was breathing fast, she had gotten a bit sweaty, and she was fidgeting with the effort to not start touching herself or the brunette bombshell. She rubbed her arm and looked almost panicked. Luna burst out laughing ‘Alright kiddo, you did good, I’ll stop teasing you’ She pulled her top off, slowly, seductively. Not that Ellen needed seduction, sedation would have been more appropriate. As Luna’s shirt went up and was pulled over her head, her 34DD breasts popped free, bouncing into place. Ellen forgot how to breathe or blink for several moments, then looked Luna in the eyes, pulling her gaze up with difficulty. She raised one tentative hand and Luna chuckled, ‘Not yet sweetie, your turn’.
Ellen was more of a timid girl, but she was so worked up that she would have done ANYTHING Luna asked of her, and her shirt was off in half a heartbeat. Her perky A-cup breasts were high and firm and her nipples were almost painfully erect, but almost as soon as she removed her shirt, Ellen was hit with a wave of paranoia and inadequacy, her breasts were tiny like the rest of her, but next to Luna the difference became comical. Her cheeks turned bright red, and she looked down, praying that Luna wouldn’t be disappointed. Luna was silent for a moment….and then burst into fresh laughter, pulling the smaller girl close ‘Oh my goodness, you little tits, the look on your face…you are SO CUTE!’ She kissed the little girl full on the lips. Ellen eagerly returned the kiss, moaning as Luna bit her lip, then squeaking in surprise and delight when Luna reached to Ellen’s little breast and gave her nipple a solid pinch. Luna smiled as she took advantage of Ellen’s surprise, leaning the smaller girl back to be flat on her back, with Luna straddling her. Ellen squealed with joy and reached out to finally lay hands on those magnificent breasts, rubbing and squeezing the soft mounds, sitting up to kiss them, then she pulled Luna down for the main event.
Ellen 05/31/17 (Wed) 17:28:50 No.9907
The Killing Floor
Three hours later, the two young women were still on the couch. They were completely naked, drenched in sweat, utterly exhausted, and both basking in the glow of countless orgasms. They simply lay there, spooning, Luna behind with her hands on Ellen’s cute tummy and Ellen with her head between Luna’s tits, better natural pillows than anything all of the technology in the world could ever create. Her face was streaked from tears of joy and utter bliss, and she was pleasantly sleepy. Ellen knew that her fun and her life were nearly over, but she was at peace. She had enjoyed almost an entire day of Heaven with the woman that she had come to love and she was loved in return. It almost felt like a mercy that she was going to die, because she would be going out on the highest of notes, if she lived for centuries like the Nobles, there would never be a day as perfect as this.
It was good that Ellen was not worried about her short future, because the crowd of girls to be dispatched had thinned considerably, and the facility would close for the day before too long. “You ready?’ asked Luna. Ellen nodded with a sleepy half smile as she stood up, Luna gave her little bottom a pat before standing as well. They went to the back of the room where the ‘terminal toys’ were located. There were only two Nobles left. A pretty blonde Luna didn’t know, looking at the body of a 2016 Miley Cyrus Clone, suspended by a noose, her usually pale face a lovely shade of purple, and her tongue pushed out. Conforming to facility policies, she was wearing a pull-up, the front a light blue and swelled, showing that she had not gone to her death with an empty bladder. The Clones were given a drink before being brought to the slaughterhouse, some Nobles liked for them to piss at the point of no return. If the Noble didn’t want that or didn’t want the Clone to have to wear the pull-up, they would simply be instructed to use the bathroom before termination.
The other Noble present was Fred, the friendly guy who had greeted Luna that morning. As with everyone else, he had shed his clothing over the course of the day. He had been playing with a young Asian girl Clone. She was not a Clone of any celebrity Luna recognized, but that was not unusual. Any technician in any cloning facility could design a new one in just a handful of minutes of boredom, then send the new design to be grown in a tank. This particular girl was aged to maybe 12 years. She had bright eyes and short hair that was basically a pixie cut, and she was just cute as a button. She was locked in a Lopper, the device resembled a large paper cutter, the girl would be put on her back, so her breasts were accessible and her face could be seen, then her hands were cuffed at her sides, and a strap went across her torso, just below the little girl’s cute budding breasts.
Fred smiled ‘Hello ladies! Seems like you’ve been having a nice time, I was just about to see Lily here off. I know you’re probably pretty much set for today Luna, but if your little friend has any interest in playing with Lily for a moment, I wouldn’t object.’ Ellen looked to Luna, who nodded encouragingly, then she stepped to stand next to the little Asian, who was watching her with wide eyes. Ellen stroked Lily’s hair, then leaned down to kiss her gently. The younger girl eagerly accepted the distraction, whimpering into Ellen’s lips. Ellen stepped aside so she would be out of the path of the blade, then looked at Fred and indicated the sharp metal with her eyes. Fred grinned and placing his hand on Lily’s little chest and budding tits, took the handle, pulling it toward the child’s soft, pale throat. Ellen pulled her tongue in just before the blade made contact, but didn’t break the kiss, just using her lips. Lily jumped as she felt the cold touch, but kept kissing until Ellen stepped back to avoid getting bloody. The Lopper was pushed down manually, combined with the fact that face-up meant that the spine wasn’t hit first, beheading with this device could go more slowly and the victim would feel more of it. Lily kicked feebly, but didn’t give into darkness until the blade was nearly halfway through her neck. Fred pushed the blade through and added her head to his little pile as her body twitched and bled. Fred grinned ‘Well that was fun! Ellen, it’s been a pleasure meeting you, I hope you have a nice death, and Luna, until next time’ he walks away whistling, stopping only to grab and slip on pants before heading home.
Luna turns to little Ellen, who is still shaky tired from their afternoon of indulgence. Luna smiles ‘So, the blonde lady left, it’s just you and me and Miley’ she smirks and looks at the cold body in the air, rope still around her neck. ‘Ready for lights out?’ Ellen nods, stifling a yawn. She really is worn right out, an endless rest doesn’t sound bad at all. Luna passes Ellen a pull-up ‘alright then honey, how about you just slip that right on. I was thinking I might hang you. Smaller girls are so cute in a soft noose. It takes a couple minutes, but it really doesn’t hurt too bad. It’s uncomfortable, but the nooses here just slowly move and tighten to cut off blood to your brain, you’ll get dizzy and dance a bit looking for the ground, but it’s not a bad way to go. Do you have any strong objections?’ Ellen’s face lit up a little bit as she was adjusting the pull-up, she kind of liked how it felt, ‘No, that actually sounds beautiful!’
Luna smiled and took the little sweetheart over to the row of nooses hanging on winches. Ellen went over to one of the sinfully soft reinforced crushed velvet nooses and rubbed it against her cheek. Luna couldn’t hold it in, the munchkin was just too cute ‘Aww! You like that one honey?’ Ellen nodded, still stroking the luxurious material. Smiling, Luna got up behind the little girl and put the noose around her soft throat like a pretty black necklace. She stepped around to Ellen’s front again, adjusting and getting the noose just right. “Okay baby, how’s that? Are you all set?’ without a word, Ellen just wrapped her arms around Luna, hugging her and resting her head on those squishy bits of heaven. She looked up at Luna, her eyes brimming with tears and full of love ‘I’m ready, thank you for making today so wonderful Luna…..I love you.’ Luna returned the hug, rubbing Ellen’s little back, and she kissed her before stepping back to the control panel ‘I love you too Ellen, see you on the other side in a few hundred years’. Then she pressed the button.
Ellen heard the whirring of the winch, and a moment later the noose began to rise. She stood on her toes, but it was not going to stop until she could not find the ground. The velvet tightened on her pretty throat, and the next thing Ellen knew, she was airborne, she couldn’t see it, but Luna had adjusted her winch to put the two girls at a height where Ellen could look her in the eye, meaning that the smaller girl was several inches off the ground. Ellen instinctively kicked and stretched, her body looking for the ground that her brain knew she would never feel again. Her cute, soft feet arced, her toes pointed, but it was no use. The started kicking, not a wild dance, more of a slow walk, but her tiny breasts wiggled with each movement. The noose was growing tighter, the pressure on her throat forced her tongue out. Worse than the relatively minor pain in her neck and jaw, worse than the difficult but not impossible task of breathing, Ellen was getting dizzy, blood was not reaching her head nearly as well as she needed, and it was like the worst vertigo ever…or not unlike some trippy drug, Ellen decided that she actually didn’t mind the interesting feeling. She didn’t mind much….she didn’t FEEL much of anything, she realized. So this was what dying felt like, this wasn’t bad at all. Ellen felt her diaper get warm, then there was a growing light that filled her vision, a rushing sound…then silence.
Luna watched the beautiful dance; she watched Ellen’s face turn red, then purple. She watched the pull-up turn yellow and swell a little, and she watched as all traces of life left her. And when it was over, she saw that Ellen still had a smile on her face. She got up, brushed Ellen’s cheek, already cooling in the chilly room. She kissed those soft lips one more time, then got dressed and left for home. Ellen had been exactly what she needed to break out of her depression, and Luna was grateful, but Ellen was one Clone, there would be more and Luna looked forward to playing with them.
Can anyone post how to format for this new site? Clearly there's some sort of formatting possible since the posts from the old site carried over and look mostly the same, but trying to use the same formatting did not work.
double ='s around a text are what creates a header, but not really sure about the rest.
You get italics with a pair of two single quotes '' around the words.
And if this one works it means bold is three single quotes ''' on each side.
no this no longer works, it creates a spoiler tag insteadlike this
Wow very strange, it actually did do a spoiler tag earlier when I posted a story. You can see in the Club Meat Grinder thread where I did it.
The formatting must still be getting set up, but it's good to know it's working now.
i b i b