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Sounding, cum eating, watersports, and overall grossness.
This is my first time writing any kind of erotica, so... enjoy? I tried not to give descriptions of the characters, so you can fill it in on your own with whatever you like.

One evening I had a craving for something salty, so I went out and bought myself a burger and fries. Coming back to my dorm, I greeted my roommate, who was busy watching cartoons, sat down and unpacked my meal on my desk. However, I was dejected to find that the cashier had forgotten to give me my complimentary sauce. I turned to my roommate and asked if he had any sauce in his mini-fridge, but he simply shook his head. Turning back to my food, I took a bite out of a fry to see if it was fine on its own. Sadly, this was not the case. I considered going back to the restaurant or to a convenience store to pick up some sauce, until I had an even better idea.

“Hey Alex,” I said to my roommate, “I was thinking. I really need something to go with my fries and on my burger, but I don’t have any sauce.”

“Okay. Why don’t you just go to the store?” he responded, as he took off his earbuds and turned to face me.

“Yeah, but I don’t want to spend too much money. The good news is that I know a way to get some sauce without buying it. You know what I’m getting at?” I said as I moved my gaze down from his eyes.

“What? Oh, sure. Go ahead.” He scooted his chair away from his desk and unzipped his pants. I grabbed a paper cup from my cabinet and walked over to his side of the room. As I knelt down between him and his desk, he put his earbuds back on and resumed his show. I fished in his underwear and pulled out his pierced, semi-flaccid cock, then placed the paper cup on the ground beside me. After resettling myself to get more comfortable on the linoleum floor, I grabbed his dick and began to lick it. I could taste pee on his piercing, and precum in his slit. I had to reposition myself again, as my dick was pushing at the seams of my sweatpants.

Placing it in my mouth, I started bobbing my head in and out quickly, licking his stiffening cock with increasing urgency, as I suddenly realized that my food would get cold soon. As his cock reached the back of my throat, I looked up at him and saw that he was laughing at his show. I had forgotten to ask him to warn me before he came, as I wanted to get all of it in the cup. Like my father always said, waste not, want not.

I pulled it free from my mouth to take a breath, before going back in with renewed vigor. Filling my throat up with his thick cock again, then pulling out halfway, then getting even more dick in me, until I felt it in my esophagus. I repeated this, until spittle ran down from my nostrils and down my chin. Just as I was beginning to wonder when Alex would finally cum already, I felt him smack the back of my head. I pulled his cock out of my mouth again and grabbed the paper cup. With not a moment to spare, I held it up to the tip of his dick, his piercing smacking the edge of the cup, and began pumping away. Finally, with a barely audible grunt, he began jizzing into the cup. I licked my lips as I watched him fill up almost a quarter of the cup with hot cum.

After licking off the excess from his dick, and savoring the salty treat, I stood up from the floor and walked over to my desk to begin my meal. I turned back and thanked Alex, and he responded with a grunt as he zipped his jeans back up and pushed his chair back in. He was never a real conversationalist. I grabbed the half-eaten fry and dipped it in Alex’s cum, the brought it to my mouth. It was the perfect blend of sweet, salty, and bitter. I made a mental note for later to get him to write down what he’d eaten that day. I dug in to my fries, dipping them in jizz and devouring them as I pulled up a movie on my laptop to watch. However, I soon realized that Alex’s cum was running low, and I still had some fries left and my burger. Too much of his jizz had gone off the sides or onto the floor (past the cup, somehow). Feeling disappointed again, I began thinking of some way to get more cum and in a more orderly fashion. Then an idea struck me.

I got up and opened my cabinet, then grabbed a package of plastic bendy straws. Removing one from the package, I returned to my chair and pulled down my pants slightly. Alex gave me a passing glance, then continued ignoring me. My dick had softened after I had started eating, so I began stroking my dick. The thought of what I was going to do excited me, so I was hard as a nail in no time. With my dick ready, I put one end of the straw in my mouth and licked it. I knew what I was going to do would hurt like hell, and I’d be feeling it for days to come, but I needed more sauce and I wasn’t about to waste any more. So I took the straw and stuck the tip into my urethra. It stung like crazy, and I had to take a moment to catch my breath. Then I started putting pressure on it, forcing it further down my urethra. Although I was moving at a snail’s pace, it still felt like razors were being forced down my dick. After a minute of pushing, I had finally gotten one inch of the straw submerged. Finally, after four minutes, I had seven of the eight inches of straw sunk into my urethra. Then I began stroking myself.

At first each movement of my hand stung horribly, but I quickly got used to it and settled into a quick stroke. As I rubbed myself, I caught Alex looking at my dick. Meeting my gaze, he shook his head and laughed. I smirked and returned to focusing on the task at hand. I soon felt that familiar electric feeling, and grabbed the cup again. As soon as I had positioned it at the tip of the straw poking out of my dick, a torrent of cum came rushing out. Interestingly, due to the straw covering up the sensitive insides of my urethra, I felt no pain in letting out my jizz. My cum filled up almost half the little paper cup, collecting neatly at the bottom, thanks to the straw.
Once I was satisfied that I had been drained completely, I began the delicate work of removing the straw. However, I then ran into an issue: no matter how hard I tugged on it, I couldn’t get the damn straw to budge. Not to mention each yank felt like I was giving birth to a hedgehog through my penis. After a few minutes of attempting to remove the straw, I gave up and decided to leave it in. At least until I was done eating. Looking up from my work, I saw Alex laughing at me, covering his mouth with his hand.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” I said, as I turned in my chair to get back to eating, leaving my dick flopping out of pants. As I turned, my dick hit the edge of my seat, causing me to instinctively recoil in pain. This, in turn, caused me to knock over my soda. Cursing my bad luck, I grabbed some paper towels to clean up the spill, but realized I was almost out. Behind me, I could hear Alex standing up.

“Hey Matt, I think I have a solution to that problem,” he said as I turned to face him. He grabbed my now-empty soda cup and placed it on his desk. Unzipping his pants again, he pulled out his cock. He picked up the cup and placed it under his flaccid cock, and then proceeded to fill it with his piss. I looked up at him and smiled.

“Thanks dude.” I stood up and began to stuff my dick back into my pants, intending to go to the bathroom to get paper towels, but Alex stopped me.

“You’ve got a mouth dude. Use it,” he said, as he gestured to the soda that had collected on my desk and the dirty linoleum floor. As if to answer my quizzical gaze, he continued, “The RA said we have to buy our own paper towels. Going green, or whatever.” He then gestured to the floor, and I responded with a long sigh. I bent back down and set about licking up the soda.

“Oh yeah, while you’re down there, could you clean up those dust bunnies and dirt? I know it’s my week to sweep, but I think you owe me one,” he said as he shook his cock to get the last drops of piss out, and to remind me as to why I owed him, “So…” I responded with a grunt, as my mouth was full of soda, dirt, and some stale pee.

After ten minutes of work, cleaning up the floor with my tongue, I finally had it nice and clean. I stood up and returned to my desk, picked up the piss-filled cup that Alex had left on my desk, and took a deep gulp. It had gotten cold, but it was still nice and salty. My fries and burger had gone cold, and so had my cum, but it still tasted so much better than if I had gone sauce-less. After finishing, I pulled down my pants and gave myself a refill, this time hot and fresh. I gave a yank to the straw, which now had four inches exposed, and succeeded in shifting it. The pain was intense, but I managed to drag the rest out. Some blood began dripping out of my urethra, and the stinging pain was so bad that I couldn’t close my legs, but the taste of burgers, fries, dirt, piss, and cum left in my mouth left me feeling content. I took a sip of my piss and went back to my laptop. Next time, I thought to myself, I’m double checking to make sure I get my sauce.

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