/lit/ - Literature

Password (For file deletion.)




Wood World problems

From collection "Bad Magic: Petrification, Transformation, Immortality"

“I wonder how it is to be a true wizard, like yourself!” Said Ivana, a 12 year old Bosnian brunette with a long hair. “You never tell me about those things.”

“Uhh…” Said the chin-lenghted brunette Nina, of the same age. “I wasn’t even supposed to tell you I am one.”

“But it’s so… new! Like a scientific development! Why can’t we research magic like we do science?”

“Well… I’ll tell you how it feels. But you first tell me why we are walking through a cornfield?”

“I…” Ivana found it hard to explain. “I have a certain phobia. I will explain in a bit.”

“And let me guess – you want me to use magic on you.”

“Well… I can’t make you, but… I really need it.”

“You know, Ivana… Magic to a wizard is like vodka to an alcoholic. I REALLY want to do magic on you. But you must keep it a secret!”

“I will keep it a secret.” Whispered Ivana. “Don’t worry! Now, let me explain this to you.”

Ivana turned towards Nina and exposed her nails. One of them was broken.

“Nina… I know I can just cut this off painlessly, but… I can’t. I’m really worried it’s going to bet worse if I don’t do it, but I can’t. I had a bad childhood accident involving nails.”

“Aww. Such a horrible childhood accident? What happened?”

“I can’t talk about that right now. But please, keep my phobia a secret.”

“Sure, Ivana. What do you want me to do?”

“I… I would like you to fix it for me. But not heal me… I want you to cut it off and help reduce my mental trauma.”

“Well, that’s easy. But you said you need my magic?”

“Yes. I won’t be able to be calm. So if you could maybe paralyze me? Or turn me into something and then turn me back?”

“I would prefer to turn you into something.”

“OK.” Said Ivana with a deep breath. “Do it.”

Ivana gave Nina the nail-cutting scissors and extended her hands. Nina took Ivana’s hands in hers, stared at them and suddenly, Ivana realized she can’t move anymore.

‘What?’ Ivana thought. ‘I can’t move… I CAN’T BREATHE! WHAT IS GOING ON?!”

“Here, Ivana, I turned you into a wooden statue.”

‘What?? For real?? I lied! PLEASE TURN ME BACK!’

“You wanted to face your fears, so I preserved your sight and sensation. Which can be extremely problematic if I lose you, but we’ll be careful.”

‘Nina… I lied… I JUST WANTED TO SEE IF YOU CAN REALLY DO MAGIC! I’m sorry! I’m sorry for being a bad friend and lying to you! Just please, turn me back! You’re still my best friend!’

“As I told you multiple times, magic in dangerous. I have 3 hours to turn you back or else you will remain a self-conscious statue with human sensations for all eternity!”


“But don’t worry. I’m not gonna mess up this time.”

‘Wha…’ Ivana was in so much shock, she could barely make up words. ‘Mess up… Please… PLEASE DON’T MESS UP! PLEASE TURN ME BACK! UUUHHUUHHUUHHUUHHUUUU!’

If that sounds similar, it should. It’s the same Nina from “Vacuum Fairy”. Except that the whole mechanism of transformation was different. This event takes place 2 months later. Would you think she’d never do something so risky again? Well, you were wrong. Wizards are… different…

Then Nina got to business. She started cutting Ivana’s nails. Not just the broken nail. Ivana’s nails should obviously be equally long, so she went on with cutting them all.

‘Nina… You’re cutting my nails… I’m so sorry for making you cut my nails… I hope you won’t be angry when you turn me back. Especially if you find out I was just testing you.’

‘AAHHH!’ Nina accidentally cut one of the nails too deep. ‘It hurts…’

Ivana was waiting for pain to reduce. But it didn’t. Normally, when you cut your nail too deep, it hurts the most only during the first second. But for Ivana, the pain remained at maximum, as if that second never passed. It wasn’t easy to ignore.

‘Uhh… Why isn’t the pain going away? Ahh… it just remains the same!’ Ivana felt like she could start going crazy. ‘Nina… it’s not strong pain, but… It’s not reducing! It’s been a whole minute! This is driving me insane… Please hurry! It hurts… I CAN’T IGNORE IT!!!!!’

When Nina was done, she told Ivana.

“Ivana, turning you back will take like 5-10 minutes. Please be patient. Everything will be fine.”


Then Nina got a cellphone call.

“This is my emergency phone. I have to answer.”

Nina then moved away a bit so Ivana can’t hear the conversation. Ivana was totally panicking inside her mind.

“Ivana!” Nina came back. “I have some crucial family matters to attend. I’ll talk to you about it, you’ll understand. I’ll be back in 1 hour at most. Don’t worry, I will definitely turn you back in time. I’m sorry, but this cannot wait, and we’re in a cornfield!”

Nina started running through the cornfield to get back home. And Ivana… Well…


It felt like the end of all hope for Ivana, even though it was not.


As the time went by, Ivana just kept panicking.

“Nina… Please don’t let me become an eternal wooden statue whose finger hurts… Please… I can’t look at the time… It hurts! I’m scared! *sniff sniff* I wanna see my mommy!”

If Nina didn’t come back, the pain of her nail being cut too deep would stay with her forever, as she would remain a statue. But Nina had an even bigger worry. What if she, like every other wood, starts rotting after a few months/years? Or what if a catastrophe happens, and her body breaks? That would hurt much-much more than that common nail-cut-too-deep pain.

And then, with time, something else would damage her again, and again, and again, only adding up onto each other.

But Nina was going to be back in an hour. No doubt about that. She mustn’t mess up this time.


As Ivana was standing in the cornfield as wooden as she was, other people were doing their own things. Such as brothers Ferdo and Faruk.

“I will look all night if necessary.” Said Ferdo. “Dad isn’t going to lend us any money anymore.”

“I understand, bro.” Replied Faruk. “But why the hell are we looking for quality wood in a fucking cornfield?”

“Maybe somebody threw away some quality wood. Where else should we look, brother?! Nobody has quality fucking wood to share.”

“Marko does, but he is asking for money in advance.”

Ferdo sat on the floor in the cornfield.

“Whoever stole our product is long gone now. If, instead of looking for the thief, we just looked for quality wood, we wouldn’t have this situation the evening before the deadline.”

But then Faruk saw something not far away from them.

“Ferdo… there’s something there.”

They walked to the spot and saw 12yo Ivana’s cute statue.

“This is a wooden statue…” Continued Faruk. “…Made out of high quality wood… Ferdo, you were right!” They hugged each other as if their football team just scored a goal. “God bless the cornfields! Ferdo, we found quality wood in the middle of a fucking cornfield!”

“But there’s just one small problem…” Ferdo got serious. “This probably belongs to somebody.”

“Look, we will think about that later. We are not even from this area. We will just sneak the statue into the car, and whatever pedophile makes statues of 12 year old girls, who cares how he feels anyway.”

So they quickly lifted statue of poor, worried Ivana, who heard and saw everything.

They brought her to their workshop.

“Damn, bro… This is some top quality wood. Whoever got to make a statue out of it, we must get in contact with him.”

“Yeah. But we should really get out of this sawdust business. It’s stupid and uncertain.”

“No, trust me! With a good business plan and quality wood, you can make a lot of money!”

“Oh, what a businessman you are, Faruk! 5 years of hard work and we’re still driving a Yugo! Wonderful business plans!”

Then they turned on the sawdust machine. And they put Ivana in it. From her legs to her head, poor Ivana was slowly disappearing into the machine. Cutting whatever wood should represent her skin, her meat, her bones and her organs. Cutting it slowly and thoroughly into tiny pieces.

“Man… This is disturbing. If this was a real girl, this would be one horrific torture method.”

“What the hell are you thinking about, Ferdo? This is just a wooden statue. It’s not someone’s friend or a daughter. It doesn’t have feelings. Curb your empathy, bro!”

From cute Ivana, only a pile of quality sawdust remained.


It was 2 AM. Nina was walking through a village near her town.

“I was back in time… Just like I promised…” She talked to herself. “But somebody STOLE her… Why? How could that happen again?”

Nina was asking from door to door if somebody saw a wooden statue of a 12 year old girl.

“It’s too late. She will remain a wooden statue forever and ever. I need to get her back.”

It was extremely important that she found Ivana, undamaged.

“I enabled her senses so she can face her fears head-on. However… Uhhh… Any damage will cause persistent pain, as if it was her real body… But pain will never reduce and she’ll not be getting used to it.”

But Nina had plans.

“I’ll preserve her! So that she remains safe from pain forever! That’s the least I can do… I hope she’s not sawdust or ash or something…”

Then she knocked on the door of Ferdo and Faruk. They both answered, anxious as fuck, because they were afraid somebody would accuse them of stealing a wooden statue. They should have thought about it sooner, isn’t that right?

“What do you want, little girl?”

“Did you see a statue of a girl my age with a long hair? A wooden statue. It’s very important to me.”

“You see, Faruk.” Said Ferdo. “I told you somebody would miss it.”

“And you, Ferdo, just confessed to a crime!”

“Wow!” Nina’s eyes filled with hope. “I will do anything, just please return it to me!”

“Uhh… This will sound bad, little girl…” Said Faruk. “You see… We run a small sawdust business… And it was an emergency… Your statue is not a statue anymore.”

“Umm…” Nina was so shocked she smiled with her eyes and mouth wide opened. “You made her into sawdust?”

“Yea. With a sawdust machine.”

“Uhh… Like… Broke her body into tiny pieces? Like in that horror movie with much screaming?”

“Yes… Look, we can’t pay for it before winter. The business kind-of slowed down recently.”

“No… It’s fine… Don’t worry about it…”

“So… You’re not mad? We’re both really sorry, we thought somebody wanted to get rid of it, we…”

“It’s over now, haha! No need to stress about it! It’s just a statue! Good night!”

Nina was then walking back home, feeling like a moron.

“Just like I lost Ana… I lost Ivana too. Except that Ana is in the eternal prison, and Ivana is in eternal torment as if she was living minced meat. And, in time, Ivana’s wood rotting will only keep making it worse.”

“How could this happen again? And why do I use such powerful sealing methods, unbreakable even by the cosmic catastrophes!”

Wizards are more accepting of such extreme fates because they’re obsessed with powerful magic. But Nina was fully aware that she domed 2 of her best friends, this one worse than the former one.

“I should stop turning my friends into things.” Nina thought. “Or not…? I really like to turn my friends into things! Well… Next time I’ll be truly careful!”




When Ivana was found by Faruk and Ferdo, she was immensely worried.


‘No… Nooo… They’re carrying me away… Impossible… *sniff sniff*Please… Please let this be a dream… Nina will never find me in time… I will remain imprisoned here forever… And ever… *sniff sniff*’

‘PLEASE LET ME GO!!! UUUUHHHUUUUU!!! I’M A REAL GIRL!!! I NEED MY FRIEND TO TURN ME BACK!!! No… How could this happen… The trunk is dark and scary…’

‘At least let this pain in my nail go away… I will never move again, and it hurts!!! The longer it takes, the more it’s driving me crazy!!! It hurts!!! If I will never be a girl again… Just please let this nail pain stooooop!!! Uuuuhhhuhhuhuhuuuuu!!! *sniff sniff* No more pain…’


I love it so much and it fucking depressed me.


Obsolete thread (because I made a story group thread), but I can't delete it.

Feel free to delete it yourselves if it's necessary.

[Return][Go to top] [Catalog] [Post a Reply]
Delete Post [ ]