Oho! Where'd you find this gem?
'Today [July 7] is the Tanabata festival! Tell me your wish, and on behalf of Vega and Altair I will grant it.'
Device: Jissou Lingual [Translator]
"I want a new house where my children can live in safety desu!"
"It's a human techi…"
"Mama, is it OK techi?"
'And what do the children wish for?'
"It would be nice to have a feast for once techi!"
"Is this a nice Mr. Man techi?"
'OK then, and the maggot…'
"REFU REFU! BELLY RUBS! REFU REFU!"
'Well then… On the whole, your wishes have come true!'
"Awesome feast techi! It's steak techi!"
"Is this our new home techi…? But where did Mama and maggot-chan go techi?"
Tanzaku: Divine Retribution!!
'Ain't I a nice guy!'
[Kusomushi = Shit bug]
It's Christmas Eve. For some reason, my pet jissou looks different from the way she usually does. She's always been a revolting shit bug, but today she's even worse.
Look there, her shoes (stockings?) are hanging on the wall… Or should I say she's taped them up there.
I get it. I don't know where she heard about it, but she thinks this is the way to get Santa to give her whatever she wants. What a thoroughly shameless shit bug.
The next day: Of course, the world is not so sweet.
The jissou was in full pout on account of her [lack of any] present. Truly a brazen shit bug.
"They lied desu! There is no Santa desu!"
So then the shit bug got tangled up in my feet. What's this shit saying?
"Hey human, look at this desu!"
"Hey human, we eat cake today. That's this day. Understand desu?"
"Depupupu… Humans are so easy desuu. He's so drunk on my cuteness, he just has to do anything I say desuu!"
Now my patience has reached its limit!
"What are doing taking me outside desu? Perhaps you're taking cute me out somewhere desu?"
Listen up you shit bug.
Let's give this shit bug a final moment worthy of a shit bug!
"Master-sama, don't hurt me desu… Please help desu…"
MERRY CHRISTMAS, SHIT BUG!!
It stinks of poop techi… There isn't even a BED techi…
The food is cruddy techi… The bath water is cold techi…