have been thinking of experimenting with drugs for a while now, which is probably not the greatest ideas considering my history with mental health, but it would also fulfill a lot of subconscious desires. so… as of now, psychotic episodes. i've had vivid hallucinations of shadowed figures appearing in imaginary doorways, things creeping along walls, and incoherent whisperings. it's genuinely terrifying… you can't escape it, and you can feel the sense of dread and fear overwhelm you. it's destabilizing, and it's been contributing to my steady decline..
Generally speaking, I wouldnt recommend doing anything unprescribed. Get to a doctor and tell them about the episodes and hallucinations/whispers (probably leave out the guro part for good measure) and have them prescribe something for you. It wouldn't really be a good idea to add to the problem with things that would make it way worse. By speaking up you can prevent alot and thank you for saying something here. :)
thanks for the reply ♥. I've been trying to get a therapist for a while now, but I'm managing in the meantime.