As far as fantasies go, I sometimes daydream about being eaten alive. Not swallowed whole by some creature, but by a woman who tears the raw flesh from me with her teeth. I guess that qualifies as fucked up.
I'm a lot, lot more of a sick sadist (hit me up ladies for the most painful lesbian sex you'll ever get)
but my most fucked up masochistic fantasy would be to have my eyelids cut off, my mouth stitched together, hands chained to the ceiling, forced to ride a lovely cock and while being thrust into, I get stabbed repeatedly in the belly, bleeding to death as they cum.
That's my only masochistic fantasy.
I don't have specifically masochistic fantasies because I see pain as annoyance only, but I totally don't mind it as a way to get someone attention.
As some girl may try to torture me but I will pay back when I will get free.
In my fantasy I go not have any concept of suffering entirely. it is all more or less like a game someone does something for me I do something in revenge.
I love the idea (maybe I'm IN love with the idea) of being so madly in love with someone and not having them say things like "you're too much" "you're scaring me" "have you taken your meds"(lmao) because they're equally fixated on me as well. I imagine this happening with that kind of person, because I believe the only person that would love or want to be with someone like me (schizophrenic with psychotic traits, ocd, generally a mental shitshow) would have be pretty off themselves
I want them to use a rotary tool to carve their name into me. I want them to carve drawings into me, all over me, pictures, poems, writing, whatever they like. My skin is very pale and (mostly, I've experimented with this fantasy myself) free of scarring so I imagine it'd look lovely. I want them to take me right after theyre done, making me even more of a mess, over and over…
Perhaps I'd pick up some illness along the way, what with all that cutting and carving in a non-sterile environment, and my already frail body would succumb to it and die. I imagine them being so distraught, but so in love, that they decide to preserve me. Have you ever heard of Carl Tanzler? Something like that, except I don't want them to be caught, I want them to live happily and healthily with my corpse for years to come. The thought of them living and loving my taxidermized body for the rest of their days makes my brain buzz.
I'm personally more of a switch than a masochist, so I've thought long on doing that to someone else. A softhearted tomboy/effeminate boy (with long blonde or red hair, I'm a sucker) I can cover in kisses and art, and keep forever