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 No.6862

My favorite hobby is to fantasize (reading is a close second). It is a pleasure to create entire worlds in the span of seconds, when most art requires an exceptional amount of skill and time to create something that pales in comparison. Once I lied in bed for five hours, playing through a scenario in my mind about torturing girls in a labyrinthine bunker, until the bloodlust almost took me and I nearly strangled my cat to death. The cat was unscathed and untouched, don't worry. Sometimes I think about being on the receiving end of agony as well, and oftentimes when I sleep I'll dream about being eaten alive or bedding corpses. Of course, I can't experience any of these lovely events in reality, and being mortal doesn't help one bit. I have attempted several thought experiments that seek to transform the between-state of half-sleep into a timeless void where I can live in a realm of eternal debauchery (or I'd just construct more bizarre worlds), but all I end up with are extremely vivid, but fragile dreams. Maybe I just need to practice more?

Anyways, I've often wondered about the joys of solitary confinement. I'm referring to true solitude, or simply an indefinite state of isolation in a prison. Can you just ask nicely to receive a lifetime prison sentence in solitary confinement? That would be ideal, but unrealistic. I think that the gap between reality and fantasy would blur in that type of setting. With no social or business life to bog you down, you'd be free to daydream as much as you like, and the absolute boredom would stretch your perception of time out substantially, I'd assume.

Just being able to have limitless free-time while mooching off of peoples' tax money would be nice enough, but by being unable to leave or work on any other task than thought, there would be no better opportunity in the world to become a pseudo-god and form a strong tether to your ethereal world. Maybe, because of the lack of external stimuli in your environment, your skill at creating phantom sensations would be enhanced as well. This would be especially useful because I really want to feel intense pain, but am unable to without committing grievous harm to my body. It's a real shame, and I'll savor any accidental injuries that I'll experience. Of course, I'd never hurt anyone in reality to achieve my ridiculous goals. People are not toys.

Is there a better way to create the fabled "infinite dream"? I would be very pleased to know. As much as I'd like to live in this capricious and irritating world, I really do question my competence in maintaining a stable life.


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