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 No.6780

Ever since I was born, I've had a rather extreme phobia of blood. It terrifies me on a level that is incomprehensible. The mere thought of it leaves me feeling dizzy and there have been many occasions where I almost fainted in public because of this phobia. It can be quite problematic because I'm also very interested in serial killers so sometimes I'll be listening intently to a podcast one moment, then teetering on the edge of consciousness seconds later.

As a teenager, I frequently had intrusive thoughts where I would temporarily become convinced that every object dangerous and I had to retract me wrists inside my sleeves to avoid cutting them on my desk or pencil or laptop. My mind was filled with images of bleeding uncontrollably and I felt as though I might lose control at any moment and tear open my wrists with my bare hands or teeth. At this point, I would begin hyperventilating until I nearly fainted, then slowly return to normal. Nowadays, when confronted with intrusive thoughts, I usually begin laughing as a coping mechanism.

I come here partly for the morbid discussion and partly to desensitize myself to the subject matter that has caused me so much distress.

 No.6781

Torture.

 No.6783

Funny enough I also have a bad reaction to the wounds blood or disgusting things, while at the same time I like them too. So I have to cum before I faint while fapping on the heavily mutilated body LOL (this applies to real life stuff only )

But I don't think this classifies as phobia since there is no fear or any conscious reaction at all just for some reason blood pressure drops.
this also happens if I get hurt myself, especially when I feel no pain, I get weak but if it is painful or if I am agitated enough, nothing like that happens.

 No.6791

I definitely feel my fears tend to get repurposed in fantasies over time. As a kid I was always afraid to cut my fingernails because I was convinced I would damage the tissue beneath, very painfully... (I figure this must've happened to me sometime out of memory.) Years later I had a whole spree of fantasies over finger nail removal, inserting pins under the nail, crushing with pliers. Pliers in the hardware store still randomly turn me on sometimes.

I definitely know what you mean about the drop in blood pressure thing. When that happens I know for sure I won't be looking at any more guro for a bit; it's kind of like a super buzzkill. My fingers sometimes become so weak as all the blood rushes out that I can hardly move them.

And so my reaction to blood and violence is all or nothing—disgust or drool so to speak.

I've also experienced mild paranoia about exposed veins on wrists and neck at times, hunching my shoulders or pulling my wrists in, which later was repurposed into fetish material. Difference between powerful fear/pain/disgust and a delicious rush is just your attitude towards it. Easy to rationalize and enjoy if you're willing. Early fear of insects and now looking toward a career in entomology; what can I say.

In a way my whole interest in guro might be called a coping mechanism for the suicidal fantasies I developed in adolescence. When I realized the images I'd thought up weren't going to go away, I made friends with them. Unfortunately a little too friendly...this led to a degree of emotional disconnection, doubt of my own empathetic capacity, and the delusion that I needed to kill people, (and that voice in my head,) but as I grew and healed as a person these delusions became unsustainable and disappeared.

Nowadays I'm so stupidly human and morally engaged—even religious again; that one surprised even me—that I almost don't desire to kill people anymore. The closest I get to old times is speculation about kidnapping and dismembering the terminally comatose in order to do the least damage possible to family and friends... And of course looking forward to the day when I find a dom who's not afraid to shed a little of my blood as well ^///^ Ever since my belated coming out my fantasies go both ways...goodbye phobia of emasculation.

I say embrace your phobias—they can be your greatest assets. And it's fun. Worked well for batman, worked well for me.

 No.6793

>>6791
Thanks for confirming my theory, I always assumed that when you start loving yourself your desire to hurt other innocent people also disappears ;)

You make a good point about getting aroused by something you fear or hate this looks like one of the main mechanisms of sexuality in general.
I do not have phobias but everything wrong looks so sexy

 No.6794

>>6793
Well sorry but the desire didn't disappear at all...I still dream about slitting children's throat every once in a while.
it's just that I have enough stock invested in my own morals/the big picture now to care that it's wrong...care enough that it's not remotely worth it anymore. Just a fantasy.

 No.6802

Butterfly’s and spiders I don’t know why the just scare the shit outa me

 No.6804

I have phobophobia -- the fear of fear itself.

 No.6885

Open fucking oceans, large bodies of water, deep murky water where i cant touch or see the bottom. Ive been in lakes and such and have been just fine but if i stop to think about it i get a terrible sense of dread. I have had many awful dreams about large sea creatures wanting to make a meal of me.

I have no desire sexual or otherwise surrounding open waters, predatory sea creatures, or vore.



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