And plan on serving my life's purpose: To make all right!
I would dress a blow up doll like an FBI SWAT team storm trooper and fuck it in the ass.
(I am not normally into anal sex, but plastic is plastic.)
option 3, plus get it on with a lady friend or two in front of the camera, do weird stuff in gimp outfit, THEN file complaints, go to court, have the judge and all the lawyers watch the footage, get the media interested, start nationwide discussion about privacy and police state, leak the footage, have my blurred nasty bits shown on cnn.
They already know everything about me so I might aswell ham it up for the camera.
This is actually something I'm terrified of, That one day I'll be made the suspect of a violent crime and my online history will be brought up in court to sway them into wrongfully declaring me guilty.
Dont worry, any good lawyer would call bringing it up into question and they would still need evidence linking you to the crime. All it cam give is a bit of a motive depending on the crime. Also the prosecution actually being tech savvy and they would have no reason to check their first. Finally you could just smash you pc and say it was an accident if the police do want to look.
I covered my webcam the day I bought the computer. Anyone hacking it is just going to see a black screen.
I wouldn't do anything differently, because in your scenario, it doesn't matter. If they were going to arrest me or actually do anything, they would've done it already. All the most suspicious things about my online activity were there many years ago. If anything, I look less suspicious these days. I don't have a copy of The Anarchist's Cookbook on this computer, for example.
I don't think even smashing it will help. Forensics once got info from a smashed hard drive after taping the disc together and on separate discs. If they want that ass, they are coming for it.
I'd go for option 3 and try to be as repuslive and nasty as I could. Shit myself in the process, smear it everywhere and just try to test their stomachs until no one cares watch the feed anymore. Not into that kind of thing but I would do it if I knew it would make the other person vomit. Haha.
If you wanna destroy what's on a harddisk it can be done, get the platters out and sandpaper the shit out of them after having overwritten all the data with ransom 0s and 1s 10 times and noone is finding that shit out. And even that level is stupid paranoid level prep. Taping a broken disk back together 1) can't get everything of off it, a part will be permanently gone. 2) It's a one in a million shot pretty much to even get half the data from that. I have worked with enterprise level data security and zeroing the disk 10 times + phisically breaking it is considered upper limit of what's done for security. Nothing is recoverable after that point from the disk itself. If it's good enough that companies trust it to protect against industrial espionage it'll be good enough to keep us internet rando's safe.
And if they want you bad enough to overcome even just a slightly smashed disk you were fucked anyway even without the disk because the internet never forgets and they can get your data from there.
FYI: the proper way to destroy a hard drive is igniting a small charge of thermite on top of it - melts the platters irrecoverably.
Then again, the fire hazard might not make that a practical solution. Burning down your house to hide that you visited that one porn website makes you a prime suspect.
Besides, thanks to PRISM and other surveillance programs, THEY already know you visited that site.