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Hi all, I'm curious about where your urges originated and what formed them over time, for those of us who remember.

I'll start with myself: to the very edge of what I can remember, I've had detailed fantasies. Even ages under 8 I would read those cartoon-illustrated kids' books and wish that "big bad bear" caught all those innocent woodland creatures and mutilated them alive, not sure why. Over time and as I was exposed to gore/death in media I became leathery and interested, and here I am today seeking the filthiest of filth.

Feel free not to care about my life story :P but regardless I'm curious about y'all! And as a side note I've heard speculation about gore thirst being on the rise with movies like Saw, Final Destination, etc.

Please indulge me! :)


I learned about sex at a relatively young age when my older brother and sister showed me some porn they'd found. After that, well, I was pretty interested in sex.

I remember a time my Mom was watching "The Firm" on TV. I don't recall much about the film, except that at one point a very attractive woman was shot and killed. I remember thinking something along the lines of the shame it was that she died and about touching her breasts for my sexual pleasure, even though she was dead. It was my first necrophiliac thought and is something I've wondered about. I was probably no older than 10 or 11 at the time.

However, my Dad did die when I was 5, so I've pretty much always had some sort of a fascination with death. That probably contributed.


Perverted uncle made a joke of hanging and cutting my chubby sister for soup.

I was never harder.

Come to think of it, I love such guro stories.

Oh, my uncle died of cancer. God piss on his soul.


It doers not look like anyone can tell where urges originated. it is just first experiences but nothing about reason on why it such reaction took place.

I guess my first time was when I seen the scene in the movie of the japanese general committing harakiri.
Or maybe it was picture of the magic trick where belly gets skewered with sword.
but i still have no clue why I found that erotic way before my puberty or even before before I got to know sexual arousal


Hard to say, I was always excited and fascinated by the dark, and horrors never scared me as a child. Rather than a specific origin, it's a gradual evolution.

As a slightly older child I had fantasies about being kidnapped by aliens and having painful humiliating experiments done to me.

Then the internet came and pretty much right away I was browsing it looking for all the taboo content that you can imagine, torture, scat, etc. and I was still underage at that time.

And after that came the manga, the world of creative guro manga artists, freakshow on one hand, manga torture porn on the other. At the same I was fascinated by horror games and other things.

But I'm a mixed deal, i also always loved things like sailormoon and I love all the happy anime where love and friendship always wins. I really like when the happy aspects are mixed with some dark crazy shit, but stuff like that is pretty rare.

Somewhere along the way I also started experimenting with BDSM on myself and reading about it, and learned that I love some forms of pain.

Meanwhile my sexual love of torture porn transformed into creative activity and later also roleplaying various really crazy things. Roleplaying got me more into the dominant sadistic side of things, because there's so many subs, I got into domming them and I enjoy that a lot now. The excitement that comes from making someone's feelings and emotions run wild.

Gore is a mixed deal, for example I love gore in things like Mortal Combat, and I like some artistic gore, but I never liked movies like Saw, they feel crude and dry to me, and for the lack of a better word, soulless.


I was actually thinking about this very thing just this last week.

I agree with Onix that I doubt any of us are going to be able to say WHY we like these things, but I can tell you WHAT I like and list experiences.

It's actually a very long chain of fantasies that changed and evolved over nearly my whole life. I'm not actually sure I have the energy to detail everything here, nor do I bet most of you have the patience for what could easily be many pages.

I'll try to be brief. Many details will be lost:

From age... 3-5? I used to think about sitting with a girl and we'd eat each other to the bone, then regrow it all and do it again.

Between 5 and 7 I developed a huge fetish for piss and would masturbate with/in it.

Age... 10ish? I'd imagine cutting women to pieces, keeping them on display, fucking/eating them when I pleased.

Guro fantasies seemed to just be forgotten between ages 13 and 20. I explored desires for piss, cumshots, gangbangs, and much much more.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, I'm browsing a weird image gallery and a guro pic of a girl getting her guts pulled out while being fucked makes me jump out of my seat and shutdown the browser. For the next several days I'm unable to shake the image from my mind while at work and can't help but go back for a better look. Over the next several weeks I start to slowly remember my old guro fantasies and everything develops further.

I find that I have a big thing for beheadings, dismemberment, and fucking a woman through that last moment of awareness and life. Willingness, and eagerness are a big deal for me.

I get married. I tell my wife about guro. We explore BDSM together. We roleplay. My fantasies evolve further to include some degradation, domination, and free use.

OK NewGuy. Is that a good answer?

I haven't heard about that speculation regarding gore/death fantasies being on the rise, but it wouldn't surprise me.

I'm also going to have to agree with Anon about the soullessness of movie gore. It's not sexy or entertaining to me. Mortal Kombat used to be funny, but the novelty wore off at some point and I don't much care for the new games. I still play Doom from time to time and that sound of splattering and the chunky animations are very satisfying, just not sexually.


daddy touched me


Thanks all for your responses, this has been insightful and I appreciate it! If anyone else wants to jump on feel welcome!

It seems likely that we largely had these kinks built-in to us right at birth, and mostly realized there was something to be observed early one. And naturally of course, they also evolved over time and throughout discovery. I'm intrigued at the variety of stuff!

Yes CalcSpree that very much works as an answer. Very awesome that you have a life partner that understands and accepts your kinks :)
I agree about your observation of gore in common media, I usually don't enjoy watching it much either and it usually feels kinda forced.
And lastly, I chuckled at the part about you forgetting about your guro intrigue and getting startled :P

I lol'd at that story realizing you were serious, reminded me of a guro dream I had where I got to slaughter some girl, I woke up rock-hard and smiling

That reminds me of when I watched one of those magic stabbing tricks live at a very young age, and I really wished she actually got stabbed and bled out


Ever since i was 8 or 9 i had fantasies of girls in perilous situations. I have a memory of watching the three musketeers anime and feeling very excited when the evil woman had kidnapped D'artanian's girl and had her bound and gagged inside a burning shed. This later developed into darker fantasies, then added bdsm to that once i discovered it later in life.

There's definitely some moments when you're like, did this cause my fetishes, or were it just already there and it just "kickstarted" it.

I remember seeing a scene (i think from "the mummy") where a guy gets mummified and buried alive. It was kind of a shock to watch, but W
when i put a pretty girl in my mind in that scenario, i had the biggest boner.

Once i found an guro-esque comic hidden in our house. Knowing now, it was probably like one of those italian erotic thrillers. I don't remember what i saw, but i remember it was shocking and sexual.


I became obsessed with the idea of cannibalism around 6. I would imagine my stuffed animals eating me. I would go over the scene in Ella Enchanted where she's about to be eaten by ogres over and over in my head. I didn't realize it was a fetish until 13. My therapist told me that it stemmed from my fear of abandonment after my parents divorced. The timing is accurate, and you certainly can't abandon somebody that's inside of you, they're with you forever. I romanticized the idea of being eaten a lot, and almost went though with it. A 30 year old man that I had idolized for years took advantage of me in my desperate, obsessive and suicidal state when I was 17 and controlled me with the promise of making my depraved fantasy come true. But I was too difficult to control at a distance, and wasn't up to snuff (pun intended).


In the first or second grade of elementary school we had a special lesson by a surgeon called from some hospital's infant trauma department. Her objective was to show us how dangerous and deadly it was to ride on cargo trains by climbing them when they run through the city on low speed. She showed us a very graphic photo slideshow of what is left of kids or their limbs when they fall and get run over by a train. That photoset shocked me and damaged my psyche. I must admit, she did her job well--I was hell afraid of trains and metro for a few years from then on. That's where my fascination with blood and gore bloomed. Eventually I started seeking gory movies and video games like MK, and here I am.


Ah hello.

So it's the age old question "What made me into a freak?"

I'm pretty into psychology and so have a basic idea of where my fetishes originated.

My back hurts so I'm going to (graciously) give you all the tl;dr version.

Was abused as a child for fifteen years. Mostly gaslighting, neglect, and csa. Due to this, I still struggle with severe issues, namely mental problems such as NPD and unresolved rage.

NPD is the contrary combination of "feel like I'm the worst so I always act like I'm the best" (thanks, Marina!) so it can be quite clear how these feelings of worthlessness, rage, distrust, misanthropy, and false arrogance could develop into many guro related fetishes, namely ones that involve sadomasochism and degradation/pain.

Also, like the OP, I do occasionally feel empathy for characters in noncon situations especially if the situation is too realistic, hits too close to home, or actually fucking happened (see: Schoolgirl In Concrete). Girl's Hell, for example, fucked me up so bad that I deleted all the pages I'd collected from it.

But tbh it doesn't bother me enough to stop. c:


Okay so Im 15 and I didn't get into guro until lastish year. I've always sort of had a thing for seeing girls in pain, hearing their screams, teeth clenching together, tears, ect ect. A memory that does stick out to me is the end of soul eater when the monster breaks makas bones to wake her and she just started screaming so hot.


*bumps* Oh excuse moi~


I did not care about this stuff until I stumbled across it.

First it was angel lust -- guys cumming, or just hard, while being hanged. If you are going to be killed, that's one hot way to go.

Then it was guys getting their penis lopped off, especially after one last release. The thought of being uncontrollably horny makes me uncontrollably horny. My fantasy is obviously this shit happening to me, even though it would suck in the end.

Very little else does much for me. Weirdly enough, this has not affected my "normal" sex life one bit. Kudos to the guy who told his wife -- I cannot even imagine that!

In the end, I really do not know. It just *is*. It is like trying to understand why you are straight or gay. Or why I like the color purple.


I remember being a kid and seeing sad scenes from anime like pokemon.

I would think about Ash losing Pikachu. Pikachu would fall off a cliff in some big adventure and then ash would search. When he finds Pikachu, he hugs it tight as tells it it's gonna be okay til it dies on the way to the Pokecenter.

Huh, come to think of it I had really bad asthma as a kid. My parents had to rush me to the hospital atleast once a year-- I'd tell them it was gonna be okay while I fell asleep in the back of the car.

Now I'm into sad asphyx and death involving cute characters. Course, I wanna be the killer and not the killed.

In part because being a weak, hurt guy is seriously discouraged, you can survive with that mentality for any length of time. Maybe the other thing is that it gives me a control over the past.

I moved a lot and because of that got real good at making friends and real bad at keeping them, I always thought that was part of it to. Something about closure and control.


As a young child, I remember always rooting for the villain in those storybooks about animal predator antagonists chasing after animal prey. There were a couple specifically that I read over and over again, always fantasising that they would end differently - one, specifically was about some field mice who sneak into a farmer's home and eat his food, and then are chased by a cat. Another was about a fox and a rabbit.
I remember thinking about the predator catching their prey and eating them brutally always gave me a warm feeling in my stomach - sometimes even imagining myself as the predator.

I also used to play this game with my father when I was very young (maybe 3-5) where he would pretend to be a giant who swallowed me alive and i'd have to climb out of his stomach. I discovered a children's book about giants catching some human children and keeping them as pets as well when I was about 9 or so. I read that book over and over and over again.

I don't really have much interest in micro/macro or vore now, though, however I do feel a similar warm feeling to the one I used to feel when I look at those pictures of girls being cooked alive and eaten.

Also, always been a fairly violent/aggressive kid (though likely in part due to being bullied at school when I was young).

At about 3 or so, I hatched a plan and tricked a girl from kindergarten who I didn't like into visiting my house that weekend. When she visited I got her to lay down on the sofa and then went to the kitchen. I contemplated taking the scissors but thought, even at my young age that that might end up with me being punished severely so decided on sticky tape instead (I used to watch my mother wax her legs, and in my mind sticky tape was like waxing strips). I taped over the girl's mouth and stuck tape all over her arms and legs, and ripped them off as hard as I could. I remember it was not as strong or painful as I wanted it to be but the girl was screaming under the tape over her mouth anyway - I remember how wide and fearful her eyes were.
I kept telling her things like "it's okay, it's just waxing!" while I held her down, haha. Eventually my mother ducked around the doorway to the living room and asked me what I was doing and I just smiled innocently and said 'nothing!' - despite the girl still panting and sort of screaming under the tape my mother just turned around and left. I figure she just assumed we were playing, or didn't know what to do.

At 12-13 I went through an edgy grimdark phase where I loved creepypasta and torture porn. I wasn't in the best place then and fantasised a lot about hurting and torturing my peers at school.

Now, though, most of my fetishes and fantasies are about being submissive - despite my incredibly low pain threshold I often project myself on the subjects in torture porn stories and art, etc. I also love the idea of being used - rape stories, humiliation, etc. Rape is definitely a big one for me and I love power imbalances. Despite my current age I love the idea of someone fetishizing my young face and appearance - Being kidnapped, thrown into a van and then being used by some sicko with a strange, possessive obsession with me, having people rape me and getting off to the idea of taking my innocence while I thrash and beg, etc. Psychological torture over physical torture, but I do love the idea of being the subject of a vivisection someday. Anaesthetic and modern medicine is a blessing.
Feel like a lot of my submissiveness/wanting to be used probably stems from daddy issues, though.


My mom never sheltered me from fucked up media, when i was around five i watched some movie (can't remember which, i know that it's a spanish movie but thats it) that had graphic depictions of domestic abuse and i was really scared of it at first but i had this fascination with it that i kept watching fucked up shit like that, at like age six i watched kill bill for the first time and thats still my favorite movie because of all the gore and how nostalgic i get when i see it. I've always found torture hot as fuck since i was young like i would get so excited whenever there was a torture scene as a kid and shit just spiraled down from there


My mom never sheltered me from fucked up media, when i was around five i watched some movie (can't remember which, i know that it's a spanish movie but thats it) that had graphic depictions of domestic abuse and i was really scared of it at first but i had this fascination with it that i kept watching fucked up shit like that, at like age six i watched kill bill for the first time and thats still my favorite movie because of all the gore and how nostalgic i get when i see it. I've always found torture hot as fuck since i was young like i would get so excited whenever there was a torture scene as a kid and shit just spiraled down from there


Fox news eat your heart out..

The lovely characters you can kill in videogames.... I'm sure are what got me into this mess xD Busty fighters like Poison or just the lithe, sharp dark elves in Oblivion. Oblivion was especially good since you could position the bodies after death, no doubt influencing my necrophilia fetish o3o


My lolicon fetish began when I hit puberty. I watched a tv show that had a young girl in it who died and she reminded me of a childhood sweetheart I had as a little boy before she moved away.

I guess I associate lolis with the girl from my childhood and it all became one of the things I'm attracted to.

My Necro fetish began in my childhood but when I hit puberty, it became sexual as the idea of having a sexual partner I can completely dominate, can't say no to me or won't resist my advances was and still is arousing to me.

My Shota fetish began when I hit puberty and I became attracted to little boys who were unconscious or dead. It really grew when I watched an episode of baywatch where a little boy drowned and he was unconscious and the lifeguards went all out to bring him back from the brink of death and succeeded. I fantasized hard about him and later when I started watching anime, little boys who fit the category of unconscious or dead aroused me.

My Bestality fetish began in my childhood from watching nature shows. Seeing the females of certain animal species drew me to them. When I saw them dead and either laid out alone, being messed with my Humans or being fought over for food by predators that killed them, I became aroused and fantasized about feeling up dead female animals of certain species like deer, antelopes, kangaroos, horses, zebras and giraffes.


I was a huge X-Men fan when I was younger, and around the time I was starting to masturbate, I usually fantasized about the women of the team. Every night, I'd jack off to another member, whether it was Jean, Storm, or Emma.

I remember reading an X-Men comic that showed several of the characters dead (in a Danger Room simulation). For some reason, I just started picturing the villains having sex with the corpses. It wasn't an especially graphic scene; they weren't bloodied or even that bruised, just limp and dead. I guess I just figured as long as they looked good they were still fuckable. I had this fantasy once or twice, never thought it was that weird or fucked up, then never payed any mind to it.

Years and years later, I discover paheal, still in it's early stages. I tended to look up a lot of Marvel and DC porn (since I had so much trouble finding any at the time). One of the earliest image results for Rogue and Ms. Marvel was a series of fantasy fights between them, where they constantly threaten to kill each other. By the end of the comic, Rogue kisses Ms. Marvel and sucks the life out of her, and the last panel has her teasingly straddling Ms. Marvel's now lifeless body while mocking her.
I thought it was so fucked up at the time, but I couldn't help but find the whole thing really hot. I kept convincing myself that I was only in it for the sexually-suggestive fight scenes and clothes-tearing, but I steadily realized that the added fatal element just made the whole scenario more erotic. Watching someone have sex before they inevitably died was this really thrilling prospect.

I steadily found myself drawn to porn depicting characters that were killed in their respective series (it was around this time I was really getting into Higurashi, a series that revolved around young, attractive characters around my age dying constantly, and it became a particularly favorite search of mine). However, I rarely sought out outright snuff porn, let alone guro, which did genuinely repulse me.

As the years went on though, I steadily got into more violent porn subjects. I was masturbating to rape porn almost every day by college. Inevitably, a few of these scenarios ended fairly darkly (Thanks, Nightmare Express), but I ended up just going with it, even enjoying it and seeking it out. Snuff soon became a huge fetish of mine.

Even just the mention, the mere hint that a character was going to be killed after the fucking was over was enough to make me enjoy the scenario more. I loved the pics from Alansmithee's "My Never-Ending Game of Hide and Seek" set, but it became so much better for me when translated versions of it came out revealing that the main character might have been killed at the end of it. When playing MythComplex's first game, I'd always, ALWAYS go straight for the scene where the minotaur piledrive-fucks Cassie, and it's explained afterwards in the Game Over screen that she was literally fucked to death when it's semen tore through her body.
I remember seeing a set of rape pics of May from Pokemon done by Gouguru that I really liked. On one comments section, an anon had accidentally misinterpreted a comment from the author on the original piece that these were the last pics he would draw of May because the thugs were going to kill her once they were done raping her. A simple mistranslation, but it was enough to make the entire image set that much more erotic for me, to the point I did my own dialogue edits for the set.

I've since gotten into slightly harder stuff, but honestly, it's mainly simple snuff that I'm into, though it has to be after a rape. I've started to really get into decapitations and headfucking though. It's just brutal enough without being too gory for me. Also, any scenarios involving a character being defeated in a fight, humiliated through rape, and then further humiliated with an execution or fatality. Executions in general really do it for me.

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