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What's your earliest memory of being drawn to anything Guro-related? I remember having a cannibalism "fetish" long before I had a sex drive, finding depictions in saucy post-cards, cartoons etc really exciting and, at around 3 or 4 I used to play a secret game which in which I now recognise I played the roll of a seriel killer, planning how I was going to "get" the prettiest girls in my pre-school! lol. Oh and when I was about 6 my "girlfriend" and I had a recurring game about a dad tricking his daughter into asking to be cooked either in the oven or "cooking pot"! Yup, I was a fucked up kid… :-P


I think my earliest role-model was The Hooded Claw from Penelope Pitstop! lol


I probably already told it multiple times here.
but my earliest experience was actually a guy committing harakiri which I found erotic for some reason even if I was somewhere about 6 years old
I never associated it with pain or something unpleasant.
Just equally erotic was a magic trick where a sword is pierced through one's belly.

And later I was pretty much reading Edward Hyde children's stories about people casually getting cooked, butchered, mutilated, mutilating themselves, and dying in all ways possible and nobody relay cared about that too much.

At that time I had no clue how to masturbate so while I was getting quite aroused it was ending with nothing. Also, I had no clue what are girls for and treated them just the same as boys with extra privileges. I had no interest in them for quite some time.

More interesting is that if someone pissed me off or hurt me my fantasy was usually how I kill them in a very horrible way, and this is not only fantasy. I would really do it with great pleasure if three were no danger and consequences. I do not believe in any of that moral crap that something is wrong etc. But this is not erotic at all, just pure hatred.


Ha! My revenge fantasies usually involve taking someone to the point of begging for death then leaving them to live in their mutilated state!

Have you ever seen the Aladdin sequel "Return of Jafar"?

"But genies can't kill anyone!"
"You'd be AMAZED what you can live through!"


actually, in my fantasies, it usually did not reach the point of death either, if that person dies you no longer can torture them so it is a great waste.

but when I got into more thinking about everything as usual and if I assume to get into the situation when I could really torture my enemies without consequences, philosophically I cannot even hate them because by hurting me, they actually gave me all that pleasure to hate them. If they were innocent I could not enjoy any of that.

So the only reason to kill someone is if you fear them
but at that time I was also thinking not only about pleasure in torturing my enemy but in eliminating them from existence so that they could not hurt me anymore.

Yes I have seen that Aladin movie quite a long time ago, but that idea is not so simple, because if you harm someone too much they may just commit suicide and that will be pretty much the same as plain murder.
To do perfect torture you must let your victim keep hope all the time and never get into depression when nothing matters anymore. When you reduced that person into a piece of meat torturing it is just as pleasant as tenderizing a piece of ham with a mallet.


The trick is to force them to stay alive while they beg for death! Funny thing is, I easily forgive folk who do me terrible wrongs but crave bloody revenge on those who irritate me!


Interesting, from that statement I woud suspect that you live under pretty high stress. while I expected you to be way more careless.

But I hardly can understand idea of begging for death, because if you want to die just kill yourself. Maybe if you tie someone down and prevent suicide that way it can be reasonable but it will be pretty short fun.


Yeah from what I've read, your perception of me is pretty far from my own but no matter :-) I am starting to suspect there is a bigger age-gap between us than I first imagined :-) But to answer your question, if you have a prisoner entirely at your mercy, you can deny them the luxury of suicide ;-)

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